#Book review This Messy Magnificent Life by Geneen Roth or our #body our #life

#Book review This Messy Magnificent Life by Geneen Roth or our #body our #life

This Messy Magnificent Life is the book of a woman who changed my life decades ago with her books about bulimia (such as When food is love). She has now acquired so much wisdom that she generously shares it in a fascinating new book.

Here are my 10 takes on Geneen Roth’ latest book.

1. The way we eat or the way we live

Putting the spoon down feels like falling into the crack between worlds, like the ending of every relationship I didn’t want to end“. Do you know the feeling?

This is the same feeling we have when a relationship is ending and we know it is a good thing but still there is so much resistance. Because we are afraid of things ending. Anxious of being left with a void in our life.

I love how Geneen Roth shares her struggles with us and allows us to relate and not feel alone in this weird emptiness feeling we can have sometimes.

2. Being thin is not the be-all and end-all

As I shared in my Weight loss series (“Why be #thin? Why loose the weight? – Weight loss Series Ep. 6“), it can be worth it to ask ourselves what being thin really means to us. As Geneen Roth writes in her book, being thin does not have only good sides.

Indeed, not having fat around us makes us vulnerable and visible. We cannot hide anymore and loose a kind of protection from the world.

Of course it does not mean that loosing weight is not a good thing, but maybe we can become aware of the positive and negative sides of being thin. It is not all easy and rosy and does not prevent us from being left and sad (see the video “I feel I want to give everything up! is being #thin a cure-all?“).

3. Our body is a source of creativity and wisdom

When I finally got rid of bulimia, I discovered a new thing: myself.

Instead of filling my body with tons of food to suppress the feeling of pain, I was discovering who I was. Very slowly, I reconnected back to my body.

After years of rebuilding my life, a miracle happened: I realized I had some creativity inside of me.

I am not an artist like my mother and my sister, I have no talent in drawing, sewing, singing or playing an instrument.

However I have one way to express: I speak and I write. Today I am exploring this creativity well with delight.

What is your way of creating my friend my sister?

In her book, Geneen Roth invites us to stop starving ourselves or filling our body with food to numb the pain. She writes that when we stop abusing our body, it can open and reveal our potential of creativity and wisdom.

4. The way we live our days makes our life

What matters at the end of life? “Whether you brought yourself to your relationships with kindness, or with reactivity. Whether you shut your heart or opened it, even in the face of rejection“. Relationships.

Life is too short for resentment. I love my parents whatever choices they made in the past. This is not what matters. The important thing to to keep some lightness in our heart. In our life.

Indeed he left me and I am so frustrated because I had so many things to tell him, places to go with him, moments to share, and a lot of giving to do. However he is still my friend. I am sending him good vibes as I always did. In a way, I love him for ever. In a different mode, inasmuch as I can welcome another man in my life, someone who is willing to build a relationship with me.

Our daily life makes our life. May we cherish it with tenderness so it is worth it.

5. Victim, not good enough, in lack

Geneen Roth noticed that each time she was feeling down, angry or hurt, it was because she was either feeling like a victim, not good enough or in lack.

When we decide to look at these three big worries with awareness, then we can let them go.

6. Choosing not to complain

As long as I can remember, I don’t complain, or not anymore. It became second nature. Furthermore, I cannot stand being in the presence of people who complain because I get discouraged.

Geneen Roth in her book is very clear about complaining: lamenting on the past is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die.

We only have one life my friend my sister. Yes I would love to rewrite the past differently. I wanted to tell the man who left me so many things, now lost forever in the big oblivion river. He will never know these things and we will never live together.

Nevertheless, being stuck in these thoughts, complaining and having regrets will not change a thing. To admit it is to be able to turn the page. It means opening up to the endless possibilities of life, to love and joy.

7. Spending time on what instead?

What we put our attention on determines our entire life. Geneen Roth underlines that since our days on earth are counted, we should simply ask ourselves: how do I choose to spend the days I have left (and which are gifted to me)?

I do not want to miss one second of this precious life, I do not want to ruin it with stupid stuff like regrets. Yes I do welcome grief, to better open myself afterwards to this beautiful life.

Our life is not like the big rehearsal of the dance shows I did at the Italian-style theater when I was a kid. The show is today. Life that matters is now. “I realized that this life wasn’t a dress rehearsal for some bigger, better promise around the corner. This was it, and my breaths were numbered“. May we not wait to be ready to live life, to have a man in our life to wear beautiful lingerie nor to have a reason to smile before smiling.

We become what we love and our life is what we do most of the time. Geneen Roth writes: “attention is the way you bless yourself with love“.

8. Paying attention to the ordinary

Geneen Roth shares a beautiful prayer with us: “After so many years of so many practices and so many prayers, I have only one left : let me remember to pay attention to the ordinary, not just to the extraordinary.”

9. Reconnecting to our body

I feel like we always go back to this idea, don’t you think my friend my sister? Moving from our brain to our body, from the rational and intellectual mind down to our gut, our intuition and our beautiful body.

My body, which I chose to abuse myself before a man did it, my body which nevertheless always supported me. Now I cherish it, I care for it, I love it and am thankful for it.

Now I practice yoga in the same way I make love to a man: feeling each sensation from my toes to my head, enjoying the nice energy which goes through my muscles and sometimes makes me shake and tremble, sometimes being on the verge of tears because I have so much gratitude to be able to gracefully move my body with such flexibility.

My body is precious now. I am not ignoring it anymore and this is a magnificent feeling.

10. What happened to us

When we stop defining ourselves according to our past, we can open ourselves up to life. Geneen Roth shares in the book This Messy Magnificent Life how such a freedom is even better than chocolate, sex or the most gorgeous pair of shoes 😉

Becoming aware that what happened to us does not define us in any way is true freedom. My friend my sister, you are not stained by physical abuse, even if you still have scars. Because we are far more than our past. We are infinite potential.

When #friendship and #love get enmeshed or the possibility of clear #relationships

When #friendship and #love get enmeshed or the possibility of clear #relationships

I am lucky to get crystal clear feelings with people at first sight. Men for instance. Either they directly enter the friends category (for life sometimes), either they belong to the friends category with a potential for love.

For instance I have been a friend of O. for ever. He is my brother, he knew me when I was wearing flowery shirts and big glasses at 15 years old, I can talk to him about everything and so can he. The relationship has never been ambiguous.

On the opposite, I knew A. from the last year of middle school. We spent our teenage years together as friends. He has always been there for me, when the teachers of my children made me crazy, when I was all alone to move with the children from one flat to the next.

A. has always been in the category friends for life. It has always been clear for me. I never had any physical attraction for him.

However I could feel it was not the same for him. I felt bad to see him love me with romantic love while I had only friendship to give him. So one day I said to him I cannot hurt you anymore like that. I said I wanted him to find a woman to live with.

I did not want to be the cause of his sadness. I distanced myself from him out of respect and concern for him. I like clear and happy relationships with people.

Another man, another story. Sometimes I am happy with being friends with someone while I can feel there could be more. When I met L. we were so different that I could not imagine we could be together one day.

Then I sadly fell into an inferiority complex where I admired him so much that I thought he would never have any interest in me. The one day on a bench at the park he said to me he would love to be in a relationship with me. I was so shocked I could not utter a word in reply.

I said to him once that I could only be in a relationship with a man who had read my book and he replied “This is a good thing I read it then!“. So my attitude changed. And I feel so in love with him. However it was not reciprocal or so it seemed so the relationship was short-lived.

The thing is, I cannot go back to the initial friendship, it hurts too much not to be allowed to love him anymore. Our friendship had so much love in it that it cannot go back in time. What is the most painful is that I have to mourn the loss of a man I was sincerely in love with, but I also have to mourn the loss of a dear friend who was naturally part of my life. Today there is a big hole in my life without him.

My friend my sister, I don’t think we must never fall in love with one of our friends. Quite the opposite, I was so happy I already knew him as a friend. Simply let’s be aware that grieving will be twice as painful.

 

 

 

The easiest and #iron rich #dessert recipe to be healthy during our #feminine #cycle

The easiest and #iron rich #dessert recipe to be healthy during our #feminine #cycle

Mashed bananas, chosen ripe so they are rich in potassium, with powdered spirulina. Why? Because this nice dark green seaweed is really rich in iron, in protein too.

My recipe for our menstrual cycle has to be eaten alone because it makes the teeth dark green 😉

By practicing self-care during our periods, we can get out of them full of life energy.

According to the extraordinary book Wild power (the review of the book is here), menstruation is like winter, preceding a beautiful spring and maybe a coming back together with our man, happy and healthy thanks to delicious spirulina!

The easiest and #iron rich #dessert recipe to be healthy during our #feminine #cycle

The easiest and #iron rich #dessert recipe to be healthy during our #feminine #cycle

Review of the #periods #pants Fempo or thank you for such a great idea

Review of the #periods #pants Fempo or thank you for such a great idea
Since I use the Fempo periods pants, I never felt this clean during my periods. It allows me to honor this period as it shall be.

Having our periods is magnificent. The goddess in us is purifying herself and reconnecting to her inner guidance. See the review of the book Wild power I did here.

Having our periods is being part of the cycle of the Universe, of the Moon and of the intrinsic mystery of life.

Having our periods is to keep in mind that we are able to create new life, that this blood is gold, and even scientifically periods blood contains a lot of stem cells.

I bought the Trio Set at Euros 94 with two hipster pants for the day and one night Power shorty.

The fabric is extra soft and comfortable, without chemicals. I chose size 38 as my trousers size is S and it was perfect. You can choose colors but I took everything in black.

I use pants number 1 until midday then I switch to pants number 2. For the night I have the Power shorty.

I wash the periods pants by hand with cold water and olive oil Marseille soap [ERRATUM: never use soap, I did not read the instructions properly, thank God I have a smart daughter who pointed it out to me!]. Because I live in the South, the pants dry quickly under the sun.

I was totally shocked by the efficiency of the Fempo periods pants. I have to confess I have very few clothes and half of them is still in Tunisia where I have to go back to get half of my remaining stuff. Moreover, most of my clothes are white. So it is a real challenge to get my periods!

Honestly, no leaks. Even at night. No blood on my thighs. I use to have periods pads with wide sides so I was afraid but it was perfect.

During the day when we sometimes feel a lot of blood coming out at once, it is a bit worrying. I work from home so I can easily change, however it may be a bit tricky at the office. Maybe a third pair of pants would be great for the day, just to be sure we feel dry at all times.

A third pair of periods pants may also be a good investment if you suffer from heavy periods or blood clots (two things I no longer suffer from since I slowed down my work and improved my lifestyle).

I am absolutely in love with the Fempo periods pants and have only one regret: that I did not know them before!

I gave up tampons early because it is not worth to risk toxic shock syndrome. Plastic pads were disgusting to me. The Diva cup is great but not comfortable for me. I ended up using fabric out of respect for my intimacy. Cotton rather than plastic!

Thank you Fempo. Thank you my dear daughter for introducing this brand to me. Thank you also for the advertisement with women who are different from the usual Barbie doll clone. It is so fresh!

Review of the #periods #pants Fempo or thank you for such a great idea

16 aout Revue des culottes th 3

What to do for skin breakouts around the #mouth? #ecobeauty

What to do for skin breakouts around the #mouth? #ecobeauty

Sometimes our body needs to get rid of toxins and the skin is unfortunately a way to do that. But no worries my friend my sister!

Skin breakouts can last a few days and personally I do not want to hide them. I never use foundation anyway.

My little remedy is simply to apply a drop of peppermint essential oil, this is so fresh! Tea tree essential oil works wonders too.

Careful as essential oils are really potent. Never use them close to the eyes and apply a bit of face cream to avoid dry skin. Because we are targeting the mouth area, a bit of lip balm is also great. Here you are! Simple and easy!

When #love slips through our fingers #uncertainty

When #love slips through our fingers #uncertainty

Why do I want to control everything, why am I afraid that the relationship is going to end instead of enjoying it?

One minute I am in a romantic relationship and the next minute everything stops.

What is the alternative? The certainty of manipulation and abuse.

What is the solution? To make the most of life here and now.

 

To take advantage of life but not people or the consequences of lies beyond moral judgement

To take advantage of life but not people or the consequences of lies beyond moral judgement

I am the first to say to people I love: “Enjoy! Make the most of it!

Make the most out of this delicious meal, this beautiful moment, this success or life as a whole.

Nevertheless, as I explain to my French students, the French verb “profiter” or making the most out of something has another meaning: taking advantage of someone or a situation.

I met a landlord, a very kind and generous man. However, his rents his properties only in the summer, leaving them empty 9 months of the year. Why? To avoid tenants who don’t pay and cannot be evicted.

Some chose to take advantage of the French law which is very protective for tenants. The consequence is the impossibility for many people in France to rent anything.

If this police officer does not believe me when I list the reasons why I need a Protective Order, this is because some people in famous legal cases lied to police officers notably to get revenge from their ex. The consequence? Each day women are murdered by their ex partner.

Beyond morality, beyond any judgement, beyond values, taking advantage of people or of anything brings consequences. Action then consequence.

I choose my own law and set of rules as the philosopher Emmanuel Kant would say. The reason? I want to be crystal clear on the consequences of my actions on myself and others, those I know and those I don’t know.

Responsibility. Plain and simple.