One of my best friends is smoking again after years of interruption. Another one had so many urinary tract infections, before working on herself and her beliefs about sexuality, notably thanks to the books of a French OB-GYN (in French “Femme désirée, femme désirante“).
Personally, I am aware that I damaged my adrenals by working like crazy.
If our body behaves in one way or another, it is a way of trying to ring the alarm bell. The goal is to adjust our lifestyle according to what our body tells us (if you understand French, discover Thierry Casasnovas).
My friend just quit the law firm and is now working on getting her health and joy back.
The important seems to be to take into account our body signals instead of trying to suppress them.
The truth is: I cannot handle it and haven’t been to handle it for thirteen years.
I have always taken care of my babies then children alone, because I have heard a voice saying: “You chose to have kids, now take care of them, it is your problem not mine!“.
I love babies and children so much. I was so happy to have them.
Nevertheless, I feel I am really not the mother I wanted to be, present, full of attention and energy. So what? This is it? This is life? Something is missing, isn’t it? It is just a misunderstanding, isn’t it? I am going to wake up and tell my husband: “Honey I had a terrible nightmare, I was raising children all alone for thirteen years, can you believe it?”
I love you because you are smart and make me feel safe.
I don’t need you to be or do anything. I don’t even need you to love me back.
I am responsible for my happiness. If the situation does not suit me, I am going to leave.
Love is absolute respect for the other person. It is not about taking from but honoring a man and the whole person he is, never taking him for granted, never saying I need you.
Do you know the great writer and relationship counselor Jacques Salomé? I love his work:
When my daughter asks me: “Mum, why are you fasting today?“, I reply: “To have beautiful eyes honey!“.
The actual day of the fast is not the most glamorous because I feel slow and a bit weak. However the next day is magnificent! The white of my eyes is so bright, my face looks like I put foundation on, my skin is extra soft and my energy through the roof.
If you understand French, Thierry Casasnovas made a great video about women and fasting.
My Parisian hairdresser never uses scissors to cut my hair but a blade. My hair is like the violin cords and his blade the bow.
The magic lies in the energy. I feel lighter after a cut. My hair is full of life.
Each time I see him, he has words of wisdom for me about my life, simply by observing how my hair grows and its texture and feel.
You can have a look at his website Le sens du cheveu for more details about the energetic techniques he uses. I do not need any explanation. I love the sensations.
In June 2019, I left a country I was in love with for such a long time, Tunisia, Africa. I explained the details of my choice in the video “How was March 2019 or #myownmonth“.
In June 2019, I was left by a man I was in love with for such a long time, and the shock was tremendously painful.
The photo of the month is a puppy dog we named Piment (Hot Pepper in French). He took refuge in front of my door in Tunisia.
Before:
After:
I didn’t realized immediately but he had a piece of string around his neck, which was slowly chocking him to death. His neck was as big as his head.
Thanks to my daughter and my neighbor, we saved his life (maybe you saw it on my IG stories @clairesamuelenglish). He stayed in my garden for a night. He was covered by insects.
The following day, I could see so much gratitude and joy into his eyes. It was a big contrast because he seemed so scared the day before.
For a weird reason, the eyes of this puppy stayed in me and gave me strength to overcome that month of June.
Piment was gifted to shepherds who take care of sheep among the olive trees fields in my neighborhood. He will have a good life.
The question of the month asked by Justine from the French Blog d’une partageuse is:
Which fear do I decide to overcome?
Sincerely, even killing a scorpion myself does not scare me anymore so I would say that my biggest fear is to be happy at last. Yes, at some point, it is time to stop all these complicated and painful things.
I want to overcome my fear to have an easy life. I don’t need to suffer to be worthy of living nor to expiate faults I am not guilty of. I want to make the most of life, build my future with a man and be able to be of service to others by living fully.
It makes me think of the message in the books of Marianne Williamson, which affirms that we are not afraid of our shadow but of our light and its power.
I don’t know his face yet but I can already feel the feeling of being held into his arms, safe and loved. I can feel the warmth, the tenderness and the protection.
I am grateful for the man who is going to share my life in the future. And that makes me happy.
