I was unable to communicate my needs and convinced of having very low self-worth. I was not sincere because I was afraid to lose the people around me. I was desperately seeking validation and love in all the wrong places, so I was manipulative in that way. Thus, I was trying to behave in the way others expected me to. It is only logical that I attracted a manipulative narcissist man who was feeling good when destroying me.
Learning to speak our truth is not easy and requires bravery. We need to face the possibility of losing people. However, not being sincere is manipulation. Sacrificing ourselves to please others is manipulation. May we have the strength to express what we want and what we do not want. This is self-respect, having boundaries and self-love.