My eight-year-old son was told by his teacher that he was allowed to shout during recess as a way of letting go and having fun.
Nevertheless, one staff member of the school threatened to punish him when he shouted during recess.
Children do not see their teacher as different from member of the staff because they all belong to the school system. Moreover, staff members take care of the children a lot after class. They do not have any training as regard to child psychology. One staff member told my daughter once: “You are one stupid girl” (she is top of her class today).
I have the intuition that our children really need congruence and, as always, it starts by ourselves.
I am the first one who must do my best to stay congruent. As always, it is impossible to pretend or hide when taking care of children.
I must take responsibility for my choices and explain and justify because children need to understand why they are asked something.
More generally, I feel good and I can look myself in the eyes in front of the mirror only if I am congruent between what I say and what I do.