When my daughter came out fo the airport, my heart was beating fast and I could not wait to hug her after one month of vacation.
However, she pushed me away when I tried to give her a kiss, while asking me when she could go back to see my parents in France.
I do not know if my beloved daughter is under the influence of my narcissistic mother, but if this is the case I have eight beautiful insights to share with you my friend my sister.
1. If I feel that much pain, it is not only because my daughter rejected me, but because it is not the first time I have been rejected.
I have been madly in love in the past with great but unavailable men.
I gave my everything to make my mother happy, but she never was.
Feeling rejected is familiar and more painful each time, or so it seems. In reality, this precise event hurts because of the past. I must let go of the past hurt.
Furthermore, if my body starts to scream as well, by getting my sinus blocked, it is only logical. Nothing to worry. Internal work needs to be done. Releasing. Letting go.
2. I picture my dear mother as a vampire, feeding from my daughter’s energy by turning her against me. Narcissistic exist. They need others to pity them so they can carry on playing the victim role and avoid responsibility for their actions.
3. However, it is so easy to criticize others. How am I a vampire? How am I a narcissistic? How am I playing the victim? Introspection is valid. I am not perfect.
4. It took me decades to reach the following conclusion: narcissists do not ever change. They simply do not want to because they would not be able to live.
They need to feed from others because they are poor victims who need pity. Thus, their behavior can be erratic. Their difficult childhood is to blame.
5. If I create boundaries by calling my mother out, I will become the villain. It will be too easy for my dear mum to reinforce her image of the victim.
6. Moreover, it is difficult to explain to my daughter why I feel so much pain. If I say one word against my mum, my daughter will quickly defend her and accuse me of being mean.
7. Consequently, the only way I personally deal with such a tricky situation is to love my mother from a distance.
8. What is my assignment now? I have the duty to embody joy and compassion for my beloved daughter, while trusting the benevolent universe. I feel protected by an invisible force. The show must go on my friend my sister. There is work to do.