At first sight, we may think a woman does not want children because she is not very found of them for instance. What if it was the opposite?
What if women would not want any more children because they love them so much?
What if women were tired of having their heart crushed because it is not humanly possible to be present for our kids while being a single working mother for instance?
I cannot tell you how relieved I am when I can at last breathe and I have only me to think of, no little person depending on me for a day or a few days, when my kids are at summer camp for instance.
However such a feeling is so very short-lived. Almost immediately comes the intense feeling of missing them, feeling guilty that I was not there when they needed me to look at them, listen to them, be present with them, because I was working.
This is weird. Single motherhood is either too much or too little, always a roller coaster of emotions.
In one of the books I am going to review for you on this channel, the author explains that the best way to deal with teenagers is not trying to control them. It is counterproductive and disrespectful to them. More on that soon and the French book is called L’adolescence autrement.
In regard to children of all ages, mine taught me to let go of control from an early age. I could not try to follow a to-do list in order or plan things in a rigid way. Sometimes I feel motherhood is like a hair bun on our head that is swiftly removed with all the hair floating around our head in one second. Do you get the image?
Motherhood helped me to reconnect to my feminine side, which is similar to water. It is allowing, graceful and adaptable. Never rigid. Never trying to force one’s way or control things.
Ever so light flower petals, gracefully flowing in the summer breeze. I remember the absolute joy and wonder I experienced watching this in the Galliera garden in Paris.
This is why I had this deja-vu feeling when the vibrant colors of purple, red and orange of bougainvillea fallen petals were scattered on the intense green of the lawn at my son’s school here in North Africa.
I could feel the sweet and sour taste of the present moment when you catch it just as it turns into a memory.
What remains is gratitude to be alive in this intense world, whatever the nostalgia can be when we touch the ephemeral nature of life experiences.
This is the Galliera garden I am talking about (in Paris), located around a great museum.
You don’t like bananas? Try a smoothie with melon and fresh mint leaves!
I refuse to judge people who use surgery to remove part of their stomach in order to loose weight.
I used surgery on my eyes to correct myopia and I regret it (“Laser #eye #surgery to correct myopia: my experience 5 years afterwards“).
Simply know my friend my sister that one of the reasons I created the Playlist Recipes is to help you add more raw goodness to your meals, maybe make them a little bit healthier and maybe help you loose weight with ease and gentleness.
Have you seen my youtube video Series about loosing weight with self-respect my friend my sister?
Sometimes I feel shame because I did superhuman efforts to get a lawyer diploma and here I am, renting a studio flat designed for one person in which I will live with my two children.
However each experience taught me something and made me evolve. Yes I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night but it is to write down ideas for upcoming videos. I no longer go back home from work in the middle of the night, never seeing my children.
Moreover, my heart swells with so much gratitude towards the people I love with magical intensity. This is what helps me to slow down the monkey mind, the one which believe worrying is useful.
To learn to question your thoughts I recommend the work of Byron Katie my friend my sister notably with her books A mind at home with itself and the classic Loving what is.