Single mom burnt out
I received a message from Gaiate: “I just discovered this video in a great moment of loneliness, sadness, resuming studies at 40, single mom …. phew !! In addition, I have suffered negative judgments from my own mother, my ear hurts, like otitis, I just spent some time on the phone with her.
I’m at the end of my rope I feel lousy! It’s serious I never express myself especially in this way, not to mention the doubts inherent to my age, I am in Bachelor of French Litterature.”
Dear Gaiate, your earache is your body screaming at you that it can’t take this negativity anymore. I know it’s hard to distance yourself from your loved ones. You know what, I did it. I took some distance to live a better life. It doesn’t diminish the love or respect you have for your mother. It makes it easier for you to live your own life. You don’t have to be accountable or justify yourself to anyone.
As far as age is concerned, I’ll repeat it once again: we don’t care, age doesn’t mean anything. Either way, “goddesses never age” said the wise Christine Northrup, author of Goddesses Never Age).
If you’re in undergrad, you’ve already made good progress, you’ve studied for three years, you’re on the right track. You know, going back to school was my lifeline so I wouldn’t lose my footing. While I was belittled, humiliated, seen as a weak and stupid person, I got top marks, cum laude etc. So studying boosted my self-confidence. It proved to my mind that I was capable. Just the fact that you go to college is a victory. Hold on to it because it’s something you do for yourself, for your future, to expand your skills. And remember that everything we do always serves us. I am not a lawyer today but I teach legal French to several foreign lawyers. Your literary skills will serve you well.
Dear Gaiate, hang in there because you are building your life. Let go of the judgment of others. No one except my very close friends supported me during my studies. You no longer need validation from your family. Either way, not understanding a person’s choices is one thing, pulling them down is another. You deserve love and respect, even by the people who wouldn’t make the same life choices. You are the only one living your life. Other people express their opinion which is just that, their opinion, a reflection of their life, their past experiences, their fears, etc. nothing to do with you. You will get there my friend my sister.
Last thing my friend my sister: you can ask for help. This is not an admission of weakness but of courage. We need each other. Without friends who looked after my children from time to time, I would not have been able to take exams which sometimes lasted five hours. Accept the help. You will return it one day for sure. Take the time, you’ll get there.
Here are the blog resources about going back to college as a single mom.
Aren’t you giving your kids Christmas presents?
I stay relatively distant from the current media whirlwind, but I have heard that there is heated debate about the absence of toys in brick and mortar stores in France, Europe. Each person chooses their own actions with awareness and responsibly. You can order toys online, you can see if your local store does a click and collect service, you can wait a few weeks after lockdown and postpone the offering of gifts to your children if you are not super religious, you can offer money (my teenagers personally prefer it because it allows them to wait for the sales, to manage everything as they want and that empowers them) and we can also offer nothing. What do you mean ? Unworthy mothers? No, I’ll explain. I have a friend who did this with her five children. They used to get lots of presents at Christmas. They realized that, at the end of the day, it was a bit of a pile of things around the house. So one year at Christmas they decided to use the money the parents would have spent on gifts to pay a charity to dig a drinking water well in Africa. The children were proud of themselves. Everyone has their own choices and their own path.
Here are the blog’s resources on how I educate my children (it’s subjective, personal, and not the best or the worst way).
Raw thai dressing recipe
Pre-soaked walnuts, a stalk of celery, garlic, turmeric, ginger, onion, sun dried tomatoes, Thai spice blend. Use a blender. I’m going to put this delight on lettuce leaves and wrap it in raw nori seaweed bought from https://clairesamuel.fr/biovie.