My parents never warned me about the dangers of alcohol. Nevertheless, I do not drink a single drop. How?
Simply because I witnessed how alcohol can be deadly. Three teenagers I knew died when I was in high school because they had drunk before driving home. I witnessed the erratic behavior of drunk people at parties. I tried to drink this beverage and was disgusted by the taste.
In my humble opinion, being open to our children about the damages of alcohol is the best prevention. We cannot be behind their backs 24/7. However, we can speak to them like the intelligent beings they are. We can explain how alcohol hurts the brain and the whole body, how it has the capacity to ruin people’s lives.
Lastly, I feel the best way to prevent our children and teenagers from drinking alcohol is simply to be sober. Do not drink. Lead by example.
To be a mum and to do my best yes, to be perfect no. Human rather.
I share with my children how I sometimes feel torn between taking care of myself, practicing my morning routine to give the best of myself to them, and to be present with them, to simply be fully aware with them.
After one of my (French) Thursdays live streams on youtube and instagram (@clairesamuelenglish) in which I shared my anxiety as my son was getting bored while I made all these efforts to offer him the best life possible, some mothers sent me kind messages to comfort me.
Sophie wrote: “I really liked your live, practicing self-care while doing our best for our children… not an easy task and sometimes it makes us feel guilty, I too have a son who gets bored sometimes and I do not feel like playing with him either, so I guess if we assume our choices 100% without neglecting our child of course, then the child adapts, learns to deal with frustration and develops his/her imagination because sometimes boredom has a positive side, we cannot be always busy, let’s make room for dreaming and creativity“.
Sohalia wrote: “Getting bored is normal. He will find something to do and practice imagination. This is a necessary step. Do not feel guilty. And do not overstimulate him. Quite the opposite. They all have phases like that, sometimes short and sometimes longer.”
Then, the following day she wrote: “How are you feeling today? Do not take it too much to heart. If you do everything you can, it means the ball is in his field now. Be present for him by asking him to find something to do or to help you if he is too bored. He will find very soon.”
Christine wrote: “Hi Claire, I can so relate to you!!! Seeing our child get bored is very uncomfortable. I am a mother of three, they now are 19, 16 and 10 years old. I am not a playing mummy either and I used to feel very guilty, especially when my eldest was small. I felt it was a never-ending task: I was giving and it was never enough. With experience, I realized that children too need these time periods when they feel bored, to build their personalities, to develop their imagination, or brothers and sisters relationships. As adults, we also experience such moments. One tip I have for you is to invite him to help you to carry out a task/chores, sometimes they are happy or all of a sudden they magically do not feel bored anymore. I wish you a fantastic day. Christine”
Nathalie wrote: “Whenever I see my children like that and when I did everything I could at the moment I did it, then I say to myself: “Trust him/her, he/she has everything in him/her. Allow him/her some time. Be patient.” After experiencing terrible conflicts with my younger daughter, this is the tip which allowed me to go through the storm. However, it does not suppress sadness nor despair, but we all know that nothing is permanent. Big kisses from another mum.”
