I am not a perfect mother but I really do my best. Many times I am blown away by the intelligence and depth of my children insights. My son is known to be on the angry side by his teachers and rightfully so (stuff happened). However, as they say in the Four agreements, my job is to not take things personally. Even more so when my son said to me that all he is trying to do is to help me and please me. Indeed, behind his angry mask lies the most amazing pure love of a child.
I am a recovered bulimic, a recovered codependent and a recovered people pleaser. I find it difficult to say no, even to my children because I love them so much. However, I learn, I grow, I change. It made me laugh when my daughter said once that she knew I loved her because I wasn’t always saying yes to what she was asking. No is integrity. No is saying yes to myself. As a matter of fact, saying No to my kids when I have to makes me a better mama. I find it so obvious writing it! I even say to my children that knowing when and how to say No is the most important thing.
I am not perfect. I made mistakes. Sometimes I snap at the kids and say things I really regret.
Instead of drowning in guilt, I chose to say to my children that I was very sorry.
I do not believe children need perfect mothers. I believe they deserve our authenticity. They deserve to know that we can make mistakes so they can do to. Saying to my kids that I regretted my words was like an antidote to perfectionism, for them and for me.
My children teach me something about myself every day.
Motherhood means a permanent struggle not to fall into the easy trap of guilt.
I am responsible for the way I parent my kids.
I am responsible for the choice I make to practice self-care because without it I cannot be the mum I want to be for them.
My parents never warned me about the dangers of alcohol. Nevertheless, I do not drink a single drop. How?
Simply because I witnessed how alcohol can be deadly. Three teenagers I knew died when I was in high school because they had drunk before driving home. I witnessed the erratic behavior of drunk people at parties. I tried to drink this beverage and was disgusted by the taste.
In my humble opinion, being open to our children about the damages of alcohol is the best prevention. We cannot be behind their backs 24/7. However, we can speak to them like the intelligent beings they are. We can explain how alcohol hurts the brain and the whole body, how it has the capacity to ruin people’s lives.
Lastly, I feel the best way to prevent our children and teenagers from drinking alcohol is simply to be sober. Do not drink. Lead by example.
To be a mum and to do my best yes, to be perfect no. Human rather.
I share with my children how I sometimes feel torn between taking care of myself, practicing my morning routine to give the best of myself to them, and to be present with them, to simply be fully aware with them.
In this regard, I really like the Inspire Nation video “JONATHAN ROBINSON: 10 Second Shortcuts to Pure Awakened Awareness! | Spiritual Awakening Exercises“.
Thank you to the mums who do their best so our children can play together.
Thank you to the mums who do not care if they are friends or not with another mother before letting their children all play together.
Thank you to the mums who do not care if the children from the other family are not the same whatever or live not in exactly the same way.
Thank you to the cool mums. I really think our children benefit from playing together.