I have been asked questions by two women from our beautiful community about our teenagers and how to deal with them being exposed to social media and, unfortunately pornography. How to handle this? Can we avoid it? Maybe prevent it to protect the brain of our children and ensure the appropriate development of our teens?
Empowered by the reading of a book (in French) about raising teenagers differently, which was so good that I did a review about it on youtube, I apply two principles to raising my teens.
The first one is an easy and open communication channel. My wish is for that link to never be broken, that they are always free to confide in me, without any shame, knowing that since they are small children, I never told them off when they admitted a mistake to me. I do not make fun of them. I listen and try to understand.
The second principle lies in respectful supervision, which is the consequence of an easy communication channel. I am very aware that I cannot control everything. Where I can have an impact is by supporting my teens with kindness and respect, trusting them while explaining to them the dangers of internet and pornography for instance.
If you have tips about handling our teenagers being exposed to the dangers of the internet, please share below and help other women my friend my sister!
My secret to be authentic with people including my own children is to acknowledge my mistakes. I have no desire for them to see me as above them, as a flawless person. I am not perfect, they are not and we are happy being imperfect and vulnerable with each other!
I was asked by a mother member of our beautiful community whether my children were raw vegan like me or not.
Let’s drop the pressure immediately: the reply is no!
My kids have been eating at the school canteen since they are three years old so it was difficult to compete with the canteen food loaded with sugar and gluten (even if before the age of three, they loved green smoothies and raw fruits and veggies such as apples, broccoli and mangoes).
Today they eat gluten, fish and meat at home, but I am not too bad at limiting dairy (they have dairy at school of course).
My best tip is to lead by example. They are very aware that I will never eat bread nor white sugar. They also know that if one day I feel like eating meat, I will. I listen to my body.
They also agree that vegetables and fruits full of vitamins and minerals are crucial to health, even if they don’t consume them as often as I would like. Sometimes I am surprised though. Yesterday for instance, they just ate fresh salad leaves with mayo and French mustard! Better than nothing!
To be willing that my kid becomes at all costs a lawyer or a doctor does not guarantee his happiness, far from it sometimes.
My children do not belong to me. How could I think myself entitled to dictate or even influence, according to my preferences and subjective perspective, their choices of career and in life?
My seven-year-old son used to wake up at the same time I did, around 430am, to lie on the sofa or read in the presence of his very busy working mother.
I chose not to judge but to try to understand.
A very wise friend told me that it was certainly his way of connecting to me.
