Sometimes we need to analyse our fear. Behind the fear of moving that my son was exhibiting lied the worry of not being able to make new friends in our new place.
Sometimes we need to express the deep emotions to avoid being eaten by anxiety from the inside.
And sometimes we need to walk on the path of life with the fear by our side without trying to get rid of it, as Pema Chodron eloquently explains in her books.
The worst is to stood still because of the fear, having only regrets about what we could have done with our life. Life is short and sweet my friend my sister. Live it to the fullest.
Do you remember Davina’s song “After the rain comes the sunshine again…“?
Actually, anger is a more elevated state than sadness. Then joy can enter the picture.
Recently, Teal Swan whom I adore released an ecourse to help victims of sexual abuse.
In a short extract on her Instagram, she shared how anger was a necessary step to overcome trauma. Not being able to express anger makes it impossible to heal. For a long time, I was unable to be angry. I was sad and overcome by grief.
Being angry, without hurting myself nor others, is actually what helped me to feel at ease with what happened. We never forget but we can live despite the past circumstances. We can live without defining ourselves by our past. I define myself with the choices I make today, with how I choose to show up in the world, how I talk to people and relate to the people I love. This is what matters and what I focus on.
It feels so weird to come back to France. Honestly, I thought I would never go back.
Sometimes France gets on my nerves. However, I feel I made peace with it, by seeing it through the eyes of non-French people.
Then I realized that if I was so upset with France, it was because it did not protect me when I needed it. France was not there for me because it did not take me seriously. It did not protect me children nor me.
Nevertheless, today I feel that the pain I experienced came from having expectations. I was certain that my “country” (if such a term means anything, which I doubt) would protect me.
The best thing is not having expectations as they say in the Four agreements. To avoid disappointment. And feel free.
I do not feel like talking about the past and the pain anymore.
So today I let it out of my system so I can live my life to the fullest. The pain of the past needs to be expressed before it can be released forever.
I also needed to reassure my daughter about studying. Choosing long studies is not mandatory.
I am already so proud of her. The important thing for me is that my children are respectful and kind to others while taking good care of themselves.
What if our narcissistic parent consider us like a doll? As if our reality was not valid? As if we were broken and needed some fixing?
Thanks to the great Teal Swan I understood what gaslighting is. I still do not understand why it happened to me but I feel so much better with this awareness.
One man said that heartbreak is the most beautiful sorrow ever. Because it means the heart has loved.
It is incredible how such an easy shift in perspective changes the whole game. I feel as if there is nothing to worry about anymore as regard to love. Even it is ends (and does it really? usually it only changes form and appearance), it still is a beautiful thing because it is the proof we have experience the most magical emotion a human being can experience: love.
The French man who expressed this amazing idea is named Franck Lopvet. He has a youtube channel as well.