#Book #review The night of fire La nuit de feu by Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt

Posted on by Claire Samuel

#Book #review The night of fire La nuit de feu by Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt

Today we move a bit out of personal development because we are developed enough as French clairvoyant Franck Lopvet would say 😉

La nuit de feu has been written by Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt, author of the book “Monsieur Ibrahim And The Flowers of the Qu’ran“.

Although the book La nuit de feu is not yet translated into English, I am happy to give you the 10 gems of that book for our own life my friend my sister.

1. Whose path are we on?

The author of The night of fire is wondering in the book if the life path he chose is really his.

I met so many people who chose their career to please their parents, only to be miserable in their job. Maybe it is time to choose our own path my friend my sister, to take responsibility for our happiness. In the end, all our parents want is for us to be safe and healthy, isn’t it?

2. When studying misleads us

I am a big advocate of going back to college, as I have the experience of doing it myself and becoming a lawyer.

However, I do not consider studying and getting diplomas as a recipe for a happy life. Sometimes being too focused on the brain and rationality brings us far away from our heart and intuition. In the book, the author regrets that studying did not spark his intuition, creativity and imagination.

3. Another look on everyday life

It is too easy to get engrossed into one’s problem and forget to look at the tiny miracles that surround us every day.

There is true magic in little things, in the present moment, here and now my friend my sister.

4. The meaning of things

Nobody deserve trauma and pain. Yet so many of us experienced a traumatic event in our past. Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt writes that everything has a meaning, everything is justified.

From now on, I try to look at circumstances with inquiry and curiosity, keeping in mind that even if I don’t understand the meaning of things, it exists.

5. Traveling and open-mindedness

The first travel I did after years of never taking holidays was in Cabo Verde, Africa. It gave me such a boost in my life. Whenever I travel somewhere and discover new things, I feel like I am experiencing a growth spurt.

In the book, the author writes about traveling as letting go, encountering the unknown and loosing our comfort to find ourselves again.

6. Being happy to have known each other

Yes I am terribly sad when I think of this man I loved and lost and who was also such a close friend. But I don’t want to swim in the grief pond forever. I want to have the image of his face next to the true happiness of having been able to know him for a while.

In The night of fire, two men are building a strong friendship during a trip to the Sahara desert. When time comes to say goodbye, without the possibility of seeing each other again, this is all that matters: the happiness to have know each other.

7. Remembering what really matters

When the friends separate in the book, the Saharian guide gives his best advice to his friend: “Never forget the unforgettable”. I want to keep the unforgettable memories like a treasure inside my heart.

8. Keeping a mind open and curious

Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt shares that certitudes bring death. There is nothing more dangerous that someone who is sure to have the truth. Humility is key to a life respectful of others. Humility allows growth, curiosity, tolerance, an open mind and a compassionate heart.

9. Sharing is caring

The person who says she has the answers to everything will not be taken seriously. But the man or woman who bravely shares some of his/her experience can change lives. Not because one experience is directly applicable to another person’s life, but because sharing stems from the heart. Our impact on people is impossible to foresee. This is why I admire so much people who share their stories.

10. Moving forward towards the true self

In the book La nuit de feu, the author has a leitmotiv during his quest in the desert: “Somewhere, my true self is waiting for me“. I love this image of a never-ending path towards truth, honesty and self knowledge.

Happy reading my friend my sister!

Naked Chocolate #book review #rawcacao for all #chocolate lovers

Posted on by Claire Samuel

Naked Chocolate #book review #rawcacao for all #chocolate lovers

Naked Chocolate has been written by David Avocado Wolfe and Shazzie and it is entirely dedicated to raw chocolate. Is this why this book is surrounded by love and kindness?

I highly recommend reading this book because it is very informative, detailed and interesting.

The first part of the book teaches us the history of cacao, notably how it was used as currency at some point. Then, David Avocado Wolfe and Shazzie describe all the amazing health benefits of raw cacao.

Lastly, Naked Chocolate offers us amazing, simple and delicious recipes, illustrated by photos which makes the mouth water at their sight.

I gave the book Naked Chocolate as a gift to an angel who graced my life with his presence for a few months, as I write in my book The Knot in the Spiral.

Naked Chocolate is definitely more than just a book…

#Book review This Messy Magnificent Life by Geneen Roth or our #body our #life

Posted on by Claire Samuel

#Book review This Messy Magnificent Life by Geneen Roth or our #body our #life

This Messy Magnificent Life is the book of a woman who changed my life decades ago with her books about bulimia (such as When food is love). She has now acquired so much wisdom that she generously shares it in a fascinating new book.

Here are my 10 takes on Geneen Roth’ latest book.

1. The way we eat or the way we live

“Putting the spoon down feels like falling into the crack between worlds, like the ending of every relationship I didn’t want to end“. Do you know the feeling?

This is the same feeling we have when a relationship is ending and we know it is a good thing but still there is so much resistance. Because we are afraid of things ending. Anxious of being left with a void in our life.

I love how Geneen Roth shares her struggles with us and allows us to relate and not feel alone in this weird emptiness feeling we can have sometimes.

2. Being thin is not the be-all and end-all

As I shared in my Weight loss series (“Why be #thin? Why loose the weight? – Weight loss Series Ep. 6“), it can be worth it to ask ourselves what being thin really means to us. As Geneen Roth writes in her book, being thin does not have only good sides.

Indeed, not having fat around us makes us vulnerable and visible. We cannot hide anymore and loose a kind of protection from the world.

Of course it does not mean that loosing weight is not a good thing, but maybe we can become aware of the positive and negative sides of being thin. It is not all easy and rosy and does not prevent us from being left and sad (see the video “I feel I want to give everything up! is being #thin a cure-all?“).

3. Our body is a source of creativity and wisdom

When I finally got rid of bulimia, I discovered a new thing: myself.

Instead of filling my body with tons of food to suppress the feeling of pain, I was discovering who I was. Very slowly, I reconnected back to my body.

After years of rebuilding my life, a miracle happened: I realized I had some creativity inside of me.

I am not an artist like my mother and my sister, I have no talent in drawing, sewing, singing or playing an instrument.

However I have one way to express: I speak and I write. Today I am exploring this creativity well with delight.

What is your way of creating my friend my sister?

In her book, Geneen Roth invites us to stop starving ourselves or filling our body with food to numb the pain. She writes that when we stop abusing our body, it can open and reveal our potential of creativity and wisdom.

4. The way we live our days makes our life

What matters at the end of life? “Whether you brought yourself to your relationships with kindness, or with reactivity. Whether you shut your heart or opened it, even in the face of rejection“. Relationships.

Life is too short for resentment. I love my parents whatever choices they made in the past. This is not what matters. The important thing to to keep some lightness in our heart. In our life.

Indeed he left me and I am so frustrated because I had so many things to tell him, places to go with him, moments to share, and a lot of giving to do. However he is still my friend. I am sending him good vibes as I always did. In a way, I love him for ever. In a different mode, inasmuch as I can welcome another man in my life, someone who is willing to build a relationship with me.

Our daily life makes our life. May we cherish it with tenderness so it is worth it.

5. Victim, not good enough, in lack

Geneen Roth noticed that each time she was feeling down, angry or hurt, it was because she was either feeling like a victim, not good enough or in lack.

When we decide to look at these three big worries with awareness, then we can let them go.

6. Choosing not to complain

As long as I can remember, I don’t complain, or not anymore. It became second nature. Furthermore, I cannot stand being in the presence of people who complain because I get discouraged.

Geneen Roth in her book is very clear about complaining: lamenting on the past is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die.

We only have one life my friend my sister. Yes I would love to rewrite the past differently. I wanted to tell the man who left me so many things, now lost forever in the big oblivion river. He will never know these things and we will never live together.

Nevertheless, being stuck in these thoughts, complaining and having regrets will not change a thing. To admit it is to be able to turn the page. It means opening up to the endless possibilities of life, to love and joy.

7. Spending time on what instead?

What we put our attention on determines our entire life. Geneen Roth underlines that since our days on earth are counted, we should simply ask ourselves: how do I choose to spend the days I have left (and which are gifted to me)?

I do not want to miss one second of this precious life, I do not want to ruin it with stupid stuff like regrets. Yes I do welcome grief, to better open myself afterwards to this beautiful life.

Our life is not like the big rehearsal of the dance shows I did at the Italian-style theater when I was a kid. The show is today. Life that matters is now. “I realized that this life wasn’t a dress rehearsal for some bigger, better promise around the corner. This was it, and my breaths were numbered“. May we not wait to be ready to live life, to have a man in our life to wear beautiful lingerie nor to have a reason to smile before smiling.

We become what we love and our life is what we do most of the time. Geneen Roth writes: “attention is the way you bless yourself with love“.

8. Paying attention to the ordinary

Geneen Roth shares a beautiful prayer with us: “After so many years of so many practices and so many prayers, I have only one left : let me remember to pay attention to the ordinary, not just to the extraordinary.”

9. Reconnecting to our body

I feel like we always go back to this idea, don’t you think my friend my sister? Moving from our brain to our body, from the rational and intellectual mind down to our gut, our intuition and our beautiful body.

My body, which I chose to abuse myself before a man did it, my body which nevertheless always supported me. Now I cherish it, I care for it, I love it and am thankful for it.

Now I practice yoga in the same way I make love to a man: feeling each sensation from my toes to my head, enjoying the nice energy which goes through my muscles and sometimes makes me shake and tremble, sometimes being on the verge of tears because I have so much gratitude to be able to gracefully move my body with such flexibility.

My body is precious now. I am not ignoring it anymore and this is a magnificent feeling.

10. What happened to us

When we stop defining ourselves according to our past, we can open ourselves up to life. Geneen Roth shares in the book This Messy Magnificent Life how such a freedom is even better than chocolate, sex or the most gorgeous pair of shoes 😉

Becoming aware that what happened to us does not define us in any way is true freedom. My friend my sister, you are not stained by physical abuse, even if you still have scars. Because we are far more than our past. We are infinite potential.

Review of the #book Raising #teenagers differently

Posted on by Claire Samuel

Review of the #book Raising #teenagers differently

1. A provocation for happiness

I thought I was going to read a book about children yet I learned so many things about my life as an adult. The author of the French book L’adolescence autrement (teenage years differently) starts her book inviting us to a beautiful trip, which will lead us to our autonomy as well as our children’s.

This is the secret of this book. Not only does it help us to improve the relationship with our teenagers, but it is also a great book to grow ourselves in our own life.

The author of the book write that living with a teenager is a provocation for happiness. They ask us: What did you do with your life? What are you waiting for before flying towards your dreams?

2. Giving up the fear of rebellion

The author defines teenagers as rebels against authority. The aim is to stop fearing the rebellion they can display.

I feel that when my daughter rebels, it is a way for her to separate from me, to distance herself, to establish she is different.

3. From the care received to the autonomous care

A teenager is in a transition period, from receiving care to learning to take care of herself.

As soon as my children were born, I decided I would do everything to avoid being a mother who smothers her kids.

Paradoxically for the majority of people, I therefore chose long-term breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping. My goal was to raise confident, independent and autonomous children.

According to my humble opinion and experience, confident kids become autonomous way earlier. My children are teenagers now and so many people praise how autonomous they are. Moreover, they never had separation anxiety nor fear of the dark or anything else.

4. Nobody is the perfect parent

I read dozens of books about raising children and education during the pregnancy and I made really big efforts to practice attachment parenting. My daughter was born at home in a birthing pool.

Nevertheless, I am aware that my children suffer because I have been living with them as a single parent for ever and they realize the weight of what I have to carry on my shoulders.

This is definitely not the life I had in mind, neither for them nor for me.

However, instead of diving deep into guilt, I appreciate the words of the author of this brilliant book which read that guilt we can feel thinking of what we made our kids go through is a sign of awareness, it should not paralyse us, nor allow us to feel a victim. It is never too late to understand, repair, love, dive time and attention to your child, getting to know who he really is and supporting him in his choices.

5. The supershero who lives inside of us all

The book Being a teenager differently is uplifting and motivating. Indeed, raising a kid is going to bring out some resources we never know we had inside us.

When my children feel they are a burden, I repeat to them once again that without them, I would not have become a lawyer nor go and live for a whole year in Africa.

Children teach us so much about ourselves.

6. Of the urgency of letting go of control

What a relief to read this book. I left a toxic relationship inside which I was super controlled so I do not wish to repeat a similar pattern with my kids.

Catherine Dumonteil-Kremer writes that control is totally inefficient and counter-productive as well as a cause of separation from our children.

Control can lead a teenager to lying or silence. This is a way for him to protect himself.

I do not push my kids to study hard, choose one job instead of another, not even one hobby for another. Letting go of control means respecting.

According to the author, control can become very dangerous and lead to risky behaviors. Control has a price that we will pay sooner or later. Either our children resist or, worse, they give in and will pay a very high price later on because of the distortion of their personality that they will have to create in order to please us.

7. The child and teenager is a whole person

Of course we want our children to succeed and be happy. However, I cannot stop from feeling sadness when I see these prodigal sons or daughters who enter the profession of their parents and stay on the track their parents chose for them.

Once again (I often spoke about that topic in my videos!), our children do not belong to us, our teenagers even less. I am only a guide and an example for mine. They are not my reflection.

Catherine Dumonteil-Kremer writes that “Our child is not here to do what we want, but to become himself” (my translation) (“Notre enfant n’est pas lĂ  pour faire ce que nous voulons, mais pour devenir lui-mĂȘme .”).

8. Not preventing pain

Trying to avoid the pain is a trap which makes it even worse, for our children and for us as well. When our teenager was a child, the goal was not to avoid pain in his life but to be a strong support whatever the situation.

Have a look at the great video by Cara Brotman, in which she explains how she taught her son that she would always be there for him, but never prevent pain nor resolve everything for him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmrQSQ1c6Ok

There is also a great French author named Michel Fize who wrote super interesting books about the dignity of teenagers.

Our teenagers need time to find who they are, to change, to try and to test things out.

9. Pragmatic advice to respect teenagers

The first piece of advice from the book is simply to share at least one meal a day with teenagers.

The second one is to practice active listening, which means first to listen without interrupting then to reformulate.

No humiliation nor mockeries of course. The brain is not made for pain nor humiliation. To be able to learn well, the brain need positive emotions and a lot of social interactions says the author of the book.

Lastly, three magnificent qualities to offer our teenagers are: “neutral information authentic experience, unconditional support”.

10. The best way to learn to say no

Of course it is impossible to be on our teenagers’ back all the time, checking everything they do and worrying all night about it. What is the solution? To teach them self-respect, because this is by being loved that we learn to love and by being respected that we learn to respect oneself and others.

I do not believe in spanking children mostly because this is not a way to teach them respect (I am guilty of having done it a few times when they were kids, to my regret).

Careful not to force things either. Parents who try to influence their teenagers have less influence than the ones who simply spend time with them, according to the author of the book.

Happy reading my friend my sister!

The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak #bookreview #the40rulesoflove

Posted on by Claire Samuel

The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak #bookreview #the40rulesoflove

The Forty Rules of Love is entitled in French Soufi my love (“Soufi mon amour“). This fascinating book is the story of love in various forms in the 13th century while a writer and a book reviewer fall in romantic love.

These rules are a guide for true and pure love. The story is absolutely compelling. I couldn’t put the book down.

Please find below my ten reasons why The fourty rules of love by Elif Shafak is such an amazing read:

1. How we think the world is how the world becomes

The forty rules of love is not a book about religion, however sufism permeates the whole book. This is very interesting and we can learn so much, whatever our religion and whatever religion it is.

The great Turkish woman author Elif Shafak says that “How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves.”

This idea can be found in quantum physics where the way we see the world eventually leads to the manifested circumstances of our life.

2. The heart must come first

I lived a very intellectual life before discovering meditation and yoga. I was all in my head, studying very well academically.

However, one piece was missing: the heart. I had built walls around my heart to avoid suffering. Therefore, I made terrible decisions, because I was out of touch with my intuition.

In her book, Elif Shafak writes: “The Path to the Truth is a labor of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs [ego] with your heart. Knowing your self will lead you to the knowledge of God.”

I love how connecting to the heart is seen as a way to self-awareness. I should teach that to my children in some form.

3. Knowing what we cannot control

Submission is a very interesting term because it is abhorred in the West. However, we can shift our perspective to see it as the wisdom to know when we cannot change things. The goal is then to focus on the things we can change.

“Submission is a form of peaceful acceptance of the terms of the universe, including the things we are currently unable to change or comprehend” says Elif Shafak in her book The fourty rules of love.

4. Accepting the challenges to overcome them more swiftly

“God never burdens us with more than we can bear.” We can do this my friend my sister. We all have challenges. May we not compare but embrace difficulty as a way to grow.

Moreover, The fourty rules of love reads: “Behind all hardships was a larger scheme.” and “Every incident that happens, no matter how colossal or small, and every hardship that we endure is an aspect of a divine plan that works to that end“.

Keep the hope, keep the faith my friend my sister.

5. Not being afraid of solitude but keeping in mind that fully living is being with someone

Solitude enables us to recenter, to look back at our life and make better choices onwards. “But eventually it is best to find a person, the person who will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.”

6. Welcoming changes

Learning to trust the unknown is a big thing for me. Whenever I feel uncomfortable, I now think of the beautiful things that await on the other side of the present moment.

Elif Shafak writes: “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”

7. Purity, fasting and love

This morning I was talking to a dear friend about my fasting practice. I was explaining to him that coming to Istanbul was such a dream for me that I did a fast beforehand.

Fasting is a way for me to purify my body and my mind. I feel clearer.

However, I forgot this quote by Elif Shafak: “You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.”

What can I say about that? Love feels so new to me. Love and purity. So interesting. Love is definitely a life changer, of this I am sure. Elif Shafak writes: “If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.”

Love is such a mystery that even words are not enough to talk about it and experience its taste: “Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.”

What do you think my friend my sister?

8. We are one

You know me, I have said it again and again and it is the theme of one of my first videos: we are all humans. Borders mean absolutely nothing to me except administrative stress.

I believe we all belong to one family. So many authors write about this idea, each in a different way.

Elif Shafak says it beautifully: “everything and everyone in this universe is interconnected. We are not hundreds and thousands of different beings. We are all One.”

9. A plea for self-love

On this channel/website, we talk about self-love, self-respect and self-confidence. I do my best to provide you with practical tips on self-love.

Self-love is not a luxury but a necessity. Nothing good can come out of self-hate. I experienced it myself as I went down a spiral of despair and abuse. I encountered abuse in relationships only because I was abusing myself first.

The fourty rules of love reads that: “If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved.”

If you find yourself into a dark and sad place, you can always start anew this second: ““It is never too late to ask yourself, ‘Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?’”

10. Where is love?

Love is such a mystery. However, the miracle lies within.

“Rumi says we don’t need to hunt for love outside ourselves. All we need to do is to eliminate the barriers inside that keep us away from love.”

Let’s finish on this beautiful idea: removing the barriers. From love, from abundance and from joy. I wish you the best my friend my sister.

The Forty Rules of Love in Turkish is entitled AƟk which means Love.

The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak #bookreview #the40rulesoflove

#Book #review The Fire of the Spirit or the ultimate effort is to do none by #GregoryMutombo

Posted on by Claire Samuel

#Book #review The Fire of the Spirit or the ultimate effort is to do none by #GregoryMutombo

The Fire of the Spirit is the force which the ego cannot resist. No excuses are valid for the fire of the spirit. Because our spirit holds a treasure: our innate manifesting power. The choice is ours. Whatever we think, we create in the world. Why read the book by Gregory Mutombo “Le feu de l’esprit“? Here are my 10 reasons and a great video with its powerful messages in case you cannot read French (because it is not yet translated).

1. Understanding that we are all one big family

2. Choosing the path of ease instead of strain

3. Leaving guilt behind us

4. What about when someone did hurt us? Becoming aware that the stone is already coming back to the one who threw it

5. For a spirit of abundance or when wealth does not prevent other people for getting it too

6. The harsh reality? or the harsh thoughts we manifest?

7. Love or fear? This is our choice

8. Our life, our responsibility

9. To be spiritual or not? For the end of spiritual hierarchy

10. Our interdependence or we need each other

Diary of a learning sophrologist in Tunisia #interview with the author

Posted on by Claire Samuel

Diary of a learning sophrologist in Tunisia #interview with the author

I enjoyed interviewing Nathalie @mes_merveilleuses_fragilites on IG, author of a book to be released soon about her experience as a sophrologist to be in Tunisia.

We both share a deep love for this country, which we consider like a kind mother.

We also both experienced going back to studying as a way of rebuilding our life.

Last passion we share is minimalism, but happy freeing minimalism!

As regard to self-care, Nathalie grants meditation the power to make us feel at home wherever we are.

Home can be somewhere near the sea, even if it is not familiar (yet). We both attribute magical loving properties to the sea.

Our past can be difficult. However, Nathalie explained that once the harship is over, then we can understand the message it held for us.

Furthermore, plantbased and living foods were discussed as a way of practicing self-care. Clean nutrition is also a great way to feel energized and make the impossible possible.

Lastly, however strong people can judge us as regard to our accomplishments, we still need love. Always. In this regard, I was so touched when I heard Gabby Bernstein admits she still suffer sometimes in the video “Gabby Bernstein on CreativeLive | Chase Jarvis LIVE | ChaseJarvis“. We are all humans sister.

One of Gabby Bernstein most popular book is The universe has your back: