The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak #bookreview #the40rulesoflove

The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak #bookreview #the40rulesoflove

The Forty Rules of Love is entitled in French Soufi my love (“Soufi mon amour“). This fascinating book is the story of love in various forms in the 13th century while a writer and a book reviewer fall in romantic love.

These rules are a guide for true and pure love. The story is absolutely compelling. I couldn’t put the book down.

Please find below my ten reasons why The fourty rules of love by Elif Shafak is such an amazing read:

1. How we think the world is how the world becomes

The forty rules of love is not a book about religion, however sufism permeates the whole book. This is very interesting and we can learn so much, whatever our religion and whatever religion it is.

The great Turkish woman author Elif Shafak says that “How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves.

This idea can be found in quantum physics where the way we see the world eventually leads to the manifested circumstances of our life.

2. The heart must come first

I lived a very intellectual life before discovering meditation and yoga. I was all in my head, studying very well academically.

However, one piece was missing: the heart. I had built walls around my heart to avoid suffering. Therefore, I made terrible decisions, because I was out of touch with my intuition.

In her book, Elif Shafak writes: “The Path to the Truth is a labor of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs [ego] with your heart. Knowing your self will lead you to the knowledge of God.

I love how connecting to the heart is seen as a way to self-awareness. I should teach that to my children in some form.

3. Knowing what we cannot control

Submission is a very interesting term because it is abhorred in the West. However, we can shift our perspective to see it as the wisdom to know when we cannot change things. The goal is then to focus on the things we can change.

Submission is a form of peaceful acceptance of the terms of the universe, including the things we are currently unable to change or comprehend” says Elif Shafak in her book The fourty rules of love.

4. Accepting the challenges to overcome them more swiftly

God never burdens us with more than we can bear.” We can do this my friend my sister. We all have challenges. May we not compare but embrace difficulty as a way to grow.

Moreover, The fourty rules of love reads: “Behind all hardships was a larger scheme.” and “Every incident that happens, no matter how colossal or small, and every hardship that we endure is an aspect of a divine plan that works to that end“.

Keep the hope, keep the faith my friend my sister.

5. Not being afraid of solitude but keeping in mind that fully living is being with someone

Solitude enables us to recenter, to look back at our life and make better choices onwards. “But eventually it is best to find a person, the person who will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.”

6. Welcoming changes

Learning to trust the unknown is a big thing for me. Whenever I feel uncomfortable, I now think of the beautiful things that await on the other side of the present moment.

Elif Shafak writes: “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

7. Purity, fasting and love

This morning I was talking to a dear friend about my fasting practice. I was explaining to him that coming to Istanbul was such a dream for me that I did a fast beforehand.

Fasting is a way for me to purify my body and my mind. I feel clearer.

However, I forgot this quote by Elif Shafak: “You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.

What can I say about that? Love feels so new to me. Love and purity. So interesting. Love is definitely a life changer, of this I am sure. Elif Shafak writes: “If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.

Love is such a mystery that even words are not enough to talk about it and experience its taste: “Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.”

What do you think my friend my sister?

8. We are one

You know me, I have said it again and again and it is the theme of one of my first videos: we are all humans. Borders mean absolutely nothing to me except administrative stress.

I believe we all belong to one family. So many authors write about this idea, each in a different way.

Elif Shafak says it beautifully: “everything and everyone in this universe is interconnected. We are not hundreds and thousands of different beings. We are all One.

9. A plea for self-love

On this channel/website, we talk about self-love, self-respect and self-confidence. I do my best to provide you with practical tips on self-love.

Self-love is not a luxury but a necessity. Nothing good can come out of self-hate. I experienced it myself as I went down a spiral of despair and abuse. I encountered abuse in relationships only because I was abusing myself first.

The fourty rules of love reads that: “If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved.

If you find yourself into a dark and sad place, you can always start anew this second: ““It is never too late to ask yourself, ‘Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?’

10. Where is love?

Love is such a mystery. However, the miracle lies within.

Rumi says we don’t need to hunt for love outside ourselves. All we need to do is to eliminate the barriers inside that keep us away from love.

Let’s finish on this beautiful idea: removing the barriers. From love, from abundance and from joy. I wish you the best my friend my sister.

The Forty Rules of Love in Turkish is entitled Aşk which means Love.

The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak #bookreview #the40rulesoflove

#Book #review The Fire of the Spirit or the ultimate effort is to do none by #GregoryMutombo

#Book #review The Fire of the Spirit or the ultimate effort is to do none by #GregoryMutombo

The Fire of the Spirit is the force which the ego cannot resist. No excuses are valid for the fire of the spirit. Because our spirit holds a treasure: our innate manifesting power. The choice is ours. Whatever we think, we create in the world. Why read the book by Gregory Mutombo “Le feu de l’esprit“? Here are my 10 reasons and a great video with its powerful messages in case you cannot read French (because it is not yet translated).

1. Understanding that we are all one big family

2. Choosing the path of ease instead of strain

3. Leaving guilt behind us

4. What about when someone did hurt us? Becoming aware that the stone is already coming back to the one who threw it

5. For a spirit of abundance or when wealth does not prevent other people for getting it too

6. The harsh reality? or the harsh thoughts we manifest?

7. Love or fear? This is our choice

8. Our life, our responsibility

9. To be spiritual or not? For the end of spiritual hierarchy

10. Our interdependence or we need each other

Diary of a learning sophrologist in Tunisia #interview with the author

Diary of a learning sophrologist in Tunisia #interview with the author

I enjoyed interviewing Nathalie @mes_merveilleuses_fragilites on IG, author of a book to be released soon about her experience as a sophrologist to be in Tunisia.

We both share a deep love for this country, which we consider like a kind mother.

We also both experienced going back to studying as a way of rebuilding our life.

Last passion we share is minimalism, but happy freeing minimalism!

As regard to self-care, Nathalie grants meditation the power to make us feel at home wherever we are.

Home can be somewhere near the sea, even if it is not familiar (yet). We both attribute magical loving properties to the sea.

Our past can be difficult. However, Nathalie explained that once the harship is over, then we can understand the message it held for us.

Furthermore, plantbased and living foods were discussed as a way of practicing self-care. Clean nutrition is also a great way to feel energized and make the impossible possible.

Lastly, however strong people can judge us as regard to our accomplishments, we still need love. Always. In this regard, I was so touched when I heard Gabby Bernstein admits she still suffer sometimes in the video “Gabby Bernstein on CreativeLive | Chase Jarvis LIVE | ChaseJarvis“. We are all humans sister.

One of Gabby Bernstein most popular book is The universe has your back:

#Book review Wild Power by Alexandra Pope #divinefeminine

#Book review Wild Power by Alexandra Pope #divinefeminine

As a woman you are coded for power“. Wow! Wild power is a book you cannot forget.

Wild power introduces you to “the inner powers of the menstrual cycle, and how to work with it as an inner guide and a tool for creating wellbeing“. Now this is women empowerment!

The “power of cyclical consciousness” lies in aligning our way of behaving and creating with the key phases of our cycle. The goal is to organize our life around our moon, our own rhythm.

Alexandra Pope has very interesting key concepts in her book Wild Power.

First, the Inner Seasons of the cycle are the phases of menstruation, pre-ovulation, ovulation and the premenstruum.

Second, the Two Vias (two ways of doing and being) are “the two currents of energy within the menstrual cycle“: expansion of energy from menstruation to ovulation or the Masculine Way (the via positiva) and contraction of energy from ovulation to menstruation or the Feminine Way (the via negativa). While ovulation relates to our place within the world, menstruation tackles our divinity inside. I see them as two poles within us. Maybe this is why women are more of a cyclical nature, contrary to the linear way of men (and society).

Third, the Five Chambers of Menstruation are Separation, Surrender, Renewal, Visioning, Clarity and Direction. Every woman is different of course, but the Five Chambers are roughly the five days of menstruation.

By separating ourselves from the world, going inside and resting, we surrender and regenerate our body. Thus comes the vision of our purpose, cleverly followed by practical guidance from our intuition about what to do next. Wild Power means that thanks to our moon, you can “receive a vision or monthly download for your life’s direction“. How revolutionary! Everything makes sense. During the via positiva, we plant seeds and we take action. During the via negativa, we gently slow down and reap the benefits. Each monthly period can open our mind to new ideas and insights, if we allow it by slowing the pace.

I thought it very interesting that Alexandra Pope wrote: “the collective power of women coming together can birth something quite original that can’t be easily known or accessed on our own. Patriarchy understood this perfectly, and the two ways it managed to control women were to separate us from each other and vilify, demonize and stamp out our ways and practices.” Is this why the #witch is always an ugly old woman in children’s books? To ridicule women who know how herbs and plants work for instance?

However, far from angry feminism, Wild Power aims at creating more harmonious relationships between men and women thanks to the return of such an ancient knowledge.

As regards to PMS, I understood that experiencing pain is the result of believing we can keep going 24/7. Indeed, “the cycle itself isn’t the problem; instead, it’s revealing a problem.”

I wish I knew it in my 20s when I was popping painkillers every month: “Much of what we label PMS is a sign that you’re run down.” Therefore, reducing our stress levels will reduce the painful symptoms by soothing the nervous system. “Rest is the revolution that’s going to power your life, and menstruation is The Ultimate Time for getting it.” Talk about a sacred task! I never thought of rest in this way. Resting to connect to the inner guidance. How beautiful.

Indeed, this is crucial because of the very nature of menstruation which is “the time to abandon all responsibilities and do nothing. There is some power in allowing ourselves to do nothing for a change. It’s the moment for rest, repair and renewal“. It’s also a way of modelling self-care for our daughters so we give them permission to slow down during their moon.

Menopause is another fascinating subject, because I have the deep intuition that it means so much more than society has made us believe. According to Alexandra Pope, menopause is when a woman becomes “the full revelation of [her] Wild Power in service of the World“.

My friend my sister, would you be interested in an interview about menopause with a lovely guest for instance? Let me know! Meanwhile, enjoy the great book Wild Power by Alexandra Pope.

Where are you running? 10 great insights about life thanks to #ChristineSinger

Where are you running? Don't you know that the universe lies inside you? 10 great insights about life thanks to #ChristineSinger

I cannot believe that the great books by author Christine Singer are not translated yet into English.

However, I am sharing 10 fantastic insights from one of her #books anyway.

The French title is Où cours-tu ? Ne sais-tu pas que le ciel est en toi ? which could be translated as Where are you running? Don’t you know that the #universe lies inside you?

1. Start your thing and jump

Christine Singer words are an invitation to carry out the projects which resonate deeply in us, even if they seem crazy to others.

If we carry on long enough, they will not seem so foolish anymore. The secret is perseverance.

Writing The Knot in the Spiral or going to live in Tunisia with the children by leaving Paris seemed crazy.

However, these two beautiful endeavors have been created step by step, like any project.

Moreover, we are invited to let go of other people’s judgement.

Each one of us has his own way to evaluate craziness or reasonable.

When one person sees crazy, another one can see reason. Especially if we shift our perspective.

Thus, going to live in Tunisia, Africa allowed me to fulfill my dreams and even more, while taking care of my health and my children.

Go towards your dreams step by step my friend my sister.

2. No regrets over heartbreak

Christine Singer brings me so much comfort when she writes that the only thing that matters in the end is to have loved.

Even if I loved unavailable men, even if the beautiful love story never happened int he end, I did love.

May we let go of regrets my friend my sister. A heartbreak is better than a constricted heart.

3. Knowing where we are running towards

One positive side effect of meditation lies in the pure silence, or the taste of eternity that we offers our body and our soul.

We could then ask ourselves towards what we are rushing.

Our life could be altered by these simple words: Where are you running like that?

Sometimes it is wise to take a break and look around where we are. Sometimes is it worth listening to the silence, so that our little voice inside can be heard at last.

This life, this game, this movie and this adventure: why?

One night, around 11 pm, I asked myself if it was worth editing yet another contract, as my eyes were hurting like crazy.

I asked myself if rushing around all day was truly the best thing to be a good mother to my children.

What about you my friend my sister? Where are you running?

4. Permission to fail

We feel like creating something new then we take action steps.

Then, bam, something goes wrong or we made a mistake. However, falling or making a mistake shall not mean that the adventure reached the end. It is possible to choose another path.

Christine Singer softly reminds us that even feeling lost is part of being on a path.

May we let go of perfection because nobody expects perfection from us, only stepping closer to the light with each step.

5. Opening our mind

Christine Singer writes that religions as well as quantum physics taught us that one part of the universe lies inside the person who observes the universe.

Not only are we far more powerful than we imagine to modify our circumstances, but the very way to evaluate our current life can change it.

Is it an invitation for cultivating gratitude? What do you think my friend my sister?

6. Responsibility and interdependence

The environment is one way of demonstrating the interconnectedness between humans. If I mindlessly throw away a plastic bottle, someone else can see it on a beach in another country, as if the state of planet earth depended upon each one of us.

A strong invisible link ties us together through responsibility. Christine Singer sadly describes that we humans have not realized yet how interconnected we are.

I cannot pretend child labor does not exist when I buy a cheap plastic object.

I am moved when I read Christine Singer writing that the judge inside her of her sisters and brothers is dead. So you are me and I am you, and all this time I had the false belief that we are separate.

I have not found yet the solution and am not perfect, but I am responsible for my actions and their consequences on my fellow humans.

7. Inviting change into our life

In the past, I wanted to control and plan everything. I was desperate when something did not go the way it was supposed to.

Today I keep in mind how the river gracefully flows, moves and changes.

I welcome change like a soft wind. Refusing to allow for flexibility can hurt. Swimming with the stream is much easier.

Christine Singer describes life as a never-ending update, a permanent change which gets rid of everything that tries to keep things stuck on one way.

Moreover, if change comes from the outside, we can also initiate it in our life.

We are never really stuck in some uncomfortable situation. Renewal is not out of reach. It is as if we were locked into a prison, but from the inside the lock can be open.

8. For humility in listening to others

We never know. Each action we choose can open or close a door. Each word uttered by a stranger can change our life.

I learned so much from people who were very different from I am, much younger than me or with far more or far less diplomas than I have.

Keeping a curious ear can open us the door to the extraordinary.

Whenever we listen to our heart and our intuition, whenever we take in the words of another fellow human without getting attached to his/her look, then the invisible can magically be revealed to us.

We all belong to one big family. Each one of us has a treasure inside. Every human being can teach us something. This is where lies true humility.

9. In celebration of the divine feminine

Since I live in Tunisia, I am grateful that I am not walking in subway corridors surrounded by women body parts anymore.

Christine Singer describes how these gorgeous women become insignificant advertisement support.

I love the grace and the exquisite beauty of the feminine body. I love when the divine feminine is honored and celebrated, not used as an object.

My wish for women and girls is that they are proud of their beautiful body, not that they compare themselves to the false photoshopped faces of advertisement.

10. For a peaceful ascension

I am vegan, but I have nothing bad to say to meat eaters. Who am I to judge? One part of this big family we all belong to, nothing less and nothing more.

Judging others shall not help the world to bask in light. When we fix our gaze for too long on the thing we want to fight against, we become this thing (Mircea Eliade). May we also take care not to impose our version of goodness to others who may have a different one.

Perhaps one way would be to adopt a behavior similar to the parent in positive education of children?

I do not wat to judge nor to preach, but I want to embody the values which are close to my heart.

I do not want to combat or claim, but shine light on the possibility of choosing another path.

Christine Singer writes that we complain about the poor quality of our food or the air around us, while such anger creates even more poison into our body.

Therefore, may we focus instead of opening our mind. May we strive to work for a better world by creating it ourselves, step by step.

I feel that sharing our experience together is a good way to start helping each other my friend my sister.


Happy or review of a #book about #emotions for #children

Happy or review of a #book about #emotions for #children

I stumbled upon this magnificent colorful book: Happy.

The title is Happy and it is such a fantastic clever support to initiate a conversation with our kids about how they feel.

Read Happy by Mies Van Hout if you have little ones.

Talking about emotions, I also loved the children movie Inside Out:

Review of The Empowered Woman A Holistic Guide to Understanding Your Hormones #TheEmpoweredWoman by Kate Magic

Review of The Empowered Woman A Holistic Guide to Understanding Your Hormones #TheEmpoweredWoman by Kate Magic

The Empowered Woman is a book I did not want to finish reading because I loved it like a delicious dish.

The sub-title is “A Holistic Guide to Understanding Your Hormones“. Had it not have been written by Kate Magic, who I admire so much, I would not have picked up this book because I am not particularly interested in hormones.

However, Kate Magic makes learning about hormones fun and interesting. Thanks to the book The Empowered Woman, I expanded my knowledge so much about what the feminine and masculine hormones are and how they interact with each other all the time.

Please find below 10 reasons why I adore Kate Magic’ new book.

1. The end of the patriarchy

The book The Empowered Woman came as a confirmation of a key idea of a French book called “Patriarcat : fin de partie” by Chantal Revault d’Allonnes.

We are entering a new age, not where we reject men but where we integrate in a harmonious way the divine masculine with the divine feminine.

2. Inside and outside

Kate Magic writes: “Empowerment is knowing that everything that happens in your life is ultimately a reflection of your inner state“.

Enough said. May we carry on working on ourselves to get the life we deserve.

3. Socrates again

Again and again in my recent readings, I come across the famous injunction from Socrates: “Know thyself“.

Kate Magic reminds us that knowing ourselves first is also the greatest gift, from ourselves to ourselves.

Today I do not feel like pleasing people around me anymore, but discovering who I really am.

4. Of the importance of food

Before transitioning slowly from a standard diet to a raw vegan lifestyle, I was absolutely not aware of the direct connection between what we eat and our state of mind.

Today it would be impossible for me to eat an animal for instance. I would not want to make her pain and suffering mine by eating it.

Our personal power also lies in the food we chose to eat (or not).

5. Epigenetics?

I discovered epigenetics a few years ago. It is a new way of looking at genes. In her book The Empowered Woman, Kate Magic invites us to free ourselves from the weight of our genetic past.

Our genes can be modified if we chose a healthier lifestyle. It starts by changing our habits.

We can become freer and create our life.

6. Habits or choices?

Changing our life starts with changing our habits. Instead of going through the motion like a robot, I can choose to ask myself: “Why am I doing this all the time?“.

Changing our habits also means introducing new ones. When I made the decision to practice yoga 5 minutes every day, I was far from imagining that one day I would do at least 30 minutes of yoga so easily.

A conscious habit becomes a choice and can lead us very far.

7. Stress no more baby

Being an empowered woman is being aware that stress is the worst.

No amount of good nutrition and regular exercise can help if we are stressed out. Most stress comes from a bad attitude towards ourselves. On the contrary, practicing self-care lowers our cortisol levels. As women, we are more likely to feel it because the whole society is organized in a linear and detrimental way for us, in opposition to our feminine nature, which is cyclical, intuitive and thrives on collaboration.

I learned it the hard way. I was raw vegan and practicing yoga every day, but working like crazy in a law firm. I simply burned out. Before changing my life.

I moved from France to Tunisia to lower my exposure to daily stress.

If you current situation is poisoned by stress, please know you are not alone. In her book, Kate Magic shares how she almost went into a nervous breakdown more than once.

8. Boundaries and disappointing people

The Empowered Woman is yet another invitation to set boundaries for ourselves. It starts by saying no more often.

By saying no to others we say yes to ourselves.

Learning to disappoint people and feel alright was one of my biggest lessons. I share about it in my book The Knot in the Spiral.

9. The bliss principle

Kate Magic reminds us in her book that we are meant to experience bliss in our life. We are worth it no matter what.

Following our bliss puts us in a good spiral of getting more joy and happiness. You know I love positive spirals 😉

10. Of potential and leave or our relationships with men

The most common error women make is to only see in a man the potential he holds. Loving a man is not changing him nor helping him to become different from what he is now.

Knowing how to walk away is one key of our personal power.

Lastly, a man’s role is not to make us happy. Being empowered and willing to share our happiness is much more gratifying for both people involved.