One member of our beautiful community asked me a question about friendship.
She just went back to college as a single mother and finds her friends seem to resent her. Indeed she is not very available.
In my own little experience, I could identify three categories of people.
The first one is so-called friends who really don’t get it. Going back to get a diploma requires so much courage and sacrifice.
Resenting us for not being able to go to parties anymore is quite unfair. I wonder if these people shall still be called friends.
The second category is people who cannot relate but somehow understand and show patience.
The last and exciting category is all the new people you are going to befriend during this special time. You may meet mothers like you, going back to college to get a diploma.
These new friendships are going to be so valuable on your journey my friend my sister.
I remember my colleague A., who wanted to become the kind of French lawyer who can plead before the highest jurisdictions of France. She was using painkillers at high doses to handle the pressure.
Even though I never used drugs, I am aware that I seriously damaged my health by working and studying all the time, the remaining hours being dedicated to my children.
I highly support women to go back to college and study. But with an awareness that there must be a way to avoid sacrificing one’s health.
Thanks to my childhood friend who did intensive elite classes in science, I learned how to get organized when it comes to study for an exam, a test or the bar exam itself!
The secret lies in maths 😉 Write down how much time you have between now and your exam, how many days, how many hours during the day.
Then divide each of your subjects into balanced parts, like chapters.
Lastly, use an excel spreadsheet to allocate one thing to study for each hour available.
The goal is not perfection (impossible after age 9) but to have at least brushed off the entire knowledge you are supposed to have acquired.
Every subject for which you can dig deeper is only bonus study my friend my sister!
All the best! You can do it!
I enjoyed interviewing Nathalie @mes_merveilleuses_fragilites on IG, author of a book to be released soon about her experience as a sophrologist to be in Tunisia.
We both share a deep love for this country, which we consider like a kind mother.
We also both experienced going back to studying as a way of rebuilding our life.
Last passion we share is minimalism, but happy freeing minimalism!
As regard to self-care, Nathalie grants meditation the power to make us feel at home wherever we are.
Home can be somewhere near the sea, even if it is not familiar (yet). We both attribute magical loving properties to the sea.
Our past can be difficult. However, Nathalie explained that once the harship is over, then we can understand the message it held for us.
Furthermore, plantbased and living foods were discussed as a way of practicing self-care. Clean nutrition is also a great way to feel energized and make the impossible possible.
Lastly, however strong people can judge us as regard to our accomplishments, we still need love. Always. In this regard, I was so touched when I heard Gabby Bernstein admits she still suffer sometimes in the video “Gabby Bernstein on CreativeLive | Chase Jarvis LIVE | ChaseJarvis“. We are all humans sister.
One of Gabby Bernstein most popular book is The universe has your back:
Today I reply to MsKremiss who asked me a great question on youtube: how did you organize your day to go back to college while being a single mother of two?
I went back to college in third year of law. I was still working full time. I was studying during my lunch break and on evenings, at night from midnight to 3 am and early morning before walking the children to school and going to work.
In fourth year of law (the first year of my law masters), I quit my job to focus on getting my diploma. I would study all day, while taking care of the kids when they were not at school. I slept at night and was going for a 20-minute run every two days.
The lesson? Each second held the potential to be a learning second. I had the choice to prioritize studying every second.
If I had to do it over again? I would sleep more, to avoid collapsing at work and ending up at emergencies. Going back to college is a brilliant endeavor but it should not be at the expense of health.
I went back to studying to get my diploma as a lawyer because I was passionate by law. I am still very interested in law. I could do it because I was passionate about it.
Having children actually made me highly efficient and productive. It was not perfect. It was an amazing adventure.
Are you asking for money so you can go back to college and improve your future? I wrote a letter to social services asking for financial help. I was back to law university at 33 years old as single mum. The aim of the letter is to be clear, concise and easily readable.
I share more about my journey back to college in my book The Knot in the Spiral:
At 20 years old, I did not even sit for the exams I had been preparing for two years. I was terrified of failing. Fifteen years afterwards, I went back to university, this time as single mother of two kids. I was different, not because of my new family status, but because I took the decision to show up this time. I sat for the exams, even without having studied 100% of what I was supposed to study. As I share in my book The knot in the spiral, the result surpassed my wildest dreams.