Friendship

Friendship

Love or friendship ?

I feel, but this is only my humble opinion, that we don’t need romantic love because we can remain single and be fulfilled. However, I feel that we cannot do without friendship because humans need the affection of others in order to be happy.

What do I know?

I am not an expert or a coach. I’m not a woman who is happy in love or surrounded by fifty friends either.

I speak to you as an ordinary woman and if you need a coach maybe you can watch other content instead such as Alexi Panos, Ralph Smart or Isabel Palacios.

My goal is to prove to you that you are not alone in hesitating, asking yourself questions, walking along this weird path called life my friend my sister.

Meeting people

Personally, I don’t develop deep relationships quickly because I need to feel safe above all, in love and in friendship. Still, I can easily bond with the people I meet because I don’t expect anything. If we do cool activities together, so much the better, if not too bad. I take it slow and only give my trust when it is deserved.

No hormonal whirlwind

Friendship is fascinating because it’s like love except for one thing: there is no physical attraction or the chemistry of romantic attraction with all the hormonal changes that it includes. Therefore, one is perhaps even more sincere in friendship. That’s what I like. There is no seduction.

A certain way of seeing friendship

I have very few friends, but the ones I have mean a lot. We’ve known each other for a long time. I can say everything I want to them. Freedom. On the other hand, I belong to these weird autonomous people so I don’t feel the need to communicate regularly with my friends. If I had a boyfriend it would be different.

The important thing for me is to be 100% present when we are together, never look at my phone, practice active listening, and be there if my friend needs help.

Always tell the truth

The last thing on this topic of friendship is: don’t mix it up. Either it’s love or friendship, but I can’t stand unclear positions. Everything must be clear otherwise I am no longer safe. And you?

Honoring Pınar Gültekin

Honoring Pınar Gültekin

Tüm sevgilerimi Pınar Gültekin’e ve Türk kadınlarına göndermek istiyorum. Kadın hakları konusundaki çalışmalarınız için teşekkür ederim. Hayatta olmak hakkı çok önemli.

I would like to send all my love and prayers to Pinar Gültekin and the women of Turkey who are raising awareness about the issue of women’s rights, the first one being to stay alive.

Perfection? No, thank you!

Perfection? No, thank you!
Perfection? No, thank you!

A person on tik tok criticizes me for saying cacao instead of cocoa, adding that if I can’t speak English correctly, I might as well not speak English.

The perfectionism of this kind of criticism hides a great deal of anxiety and a lack of self-esteem.

I quote Marie Forleo whom I adore: “Aim for progress, not perfection”.

Why is this so important? Because perfection can spoil all areas of our life. It can prevent us from speaking a foreign language, from putting on shorts, from daring to ask for a promotion …

I teach French to foreigners by advising them all the time to speak before their French is fluent, quite simply because it is the only way to improve.

Also, when you are not perfect but you publish your creations anyway my friend my sister, you are implicitly giving permission to all other women not to be perfect either. And that is liberating.

Finally, waiting for perfection would mean waiting a lifetime.

Not being perfect is what makes us human my friend my sister.

How to do an inversion or headstand

How to do an inversion or headstand

You asked me how I do my little inversions in the morning, here is a little video tutorial. Use a wall to feel more secure when you start. Headstands strengthen the abs and allow the blood to circulate well.

Last thing: roll your body back up gently after the inversion and head last.

Disclaimer: check your health with your doctor before exercising. You perform a headstand without supervision at your own risk. See a professional to give you advice. Claire Samuel will not be held responsible or liable for any injury or harm sustained if you try the exercise showed in this video.

If you are also a single mother

If you are also a single mother
If you are also a single mother

If you are also a single mother, if you are also living far from your family, if your friends are also busy single mothers and if you are ill but still need to work and take care of your children, please know that you are not alone. I send you my love my friend my sister.

Giving my opinion?

Giving my opinion?
Giving my opinion?

I received an interesting message

It is a pity that you are only addressing your friends, your sisters. I would have liked to be one of these people, to feel included. Tell me, what do you think about homosexuality? Are you going to make a video about it in this month of June (pride month)?”.

I take the time to reply to this email because it is kind and is not the typical message of some trolls who do not understand how I can dare to speak to women only. I dedicated a video to them so I don’t have to repeat myself every time “Why only talk to women if I love men? mission”. Basically, if a person makes a youtube channel dedicated to fishing, I’m not going to bother them because they don’t talk about hunting. If it’s a channel specialized in frizzy hair care, I’m not going to insult the person because they never talk about straight hair, you understand? And then, I admit that sometimes the tone of the messages I receive does not deserve an answer. So I don’t answer. Boundaries my friend my sister, it’s all about boundaries.

Finally, between us, I have a lot of men who communicate with me without feeling offended by “my friend my sister”. I received magnificent messages from intelligent men who fully understood the meaning of my approach and even apologized for having entered a space “for women only”. How you react when you are a man in front of a woman who talks to women is also a matter of respect, self-confidence and education.

So this message was different

I want to answer it even if I’m not sure I can find the right words. So I need your feedback on this my friend my sister. I’m not here to take orders, of course. Some women would like me to talk to men, while others appreciate the “women-to-women” style of my content. Of course, it is very noble to want to include everyone. Except that when I record a video, I see you my friend my sister. I’m doing it for you. I know the regulars, I recognize the avatars, we have been talking in the live streams for sometimes several years. I imagine hosting a circle of women in real life one day by the way.

But sincerely, I wouldn’t feel comfortable starting to talk about menstruation, female hormones and how they affect what I eat etc, if there were men in the group. We would have to explain to them some things about the female cycle and it’s great to do it, except that it’s not my job right now. Some people do it very well.

I also admit that I never thought I would receive hatred for the simple reason that I dare to speak only to women. I tell myself that I am putting my finger on something by doing this. As a result, it becomes even more important to do so. Let’s take an example that is worth what it is worth, we agree, this is for demonstration purposes. The man who makes a channel about testosterone in is not going to receive bad comments if in his videos he says “dude, man” in each sentence, right? So why does it bother some that I address my message to women? Consequently, it’s clear that I won’t change that. I am not here to be the nice girl, to please everyone, to respond to anyone who requests it, or to behave like a public service.

What to think of homosexuality?

Beyond that misplaced patriarchy, what is my opinion on homosexuality? The answer is: we don’t care! My opinion is of no importance. A little extreme, will you tell me? Look, if I share things with you, it’s to help you because I have a debt to repay. I’m just a vector. Women have helped me by sharing their stories and experiences in videos and books. They changed my life. I thank them by doing the same, doing my part by sharing with you. But my opinion is not at all important, what matters is what I can humbly bring you by sharing with an open heart.

My friend my sister, maybe I’m wrong. I’m a human being who moves forward and doesn’t have all the keys. I will learn all my life. So thank you in advance for your kindness. I do what seems right to me with what I know today. Thank you.

Having a public forum

I have three websites, youtube channels, instagram, tik tok etc, so yes, I have a forum. This is why instead of just giving you my opinion (again, we don’t care), I want to share the account of a woman who I find speaks very well about the LGBT issue: Laura Fruit Fairy. I like that she doesn’t define herself as straight or gay. She has a heart, she loves.

Recently in my insta stories I wrote: “You love a man or a woman, whatever their skin color, if your heart is pure that’s all that matters“. A person’s sexual orientation isn’t the criteria that will have me put them in one box or another. Everyone has their preference and it can even change over time. The most important thing is to be honest and clear to yourself and others. I have the utmost respect for all people in the LGBT community simply because they are people in every way equal to others. I don’t see how sexual orientation should change the way you look at a person. It’s like the shade of a person’s skin color. This should never be taken into account when assessing or judging a person.

Reaction to intolerence

That said, I’m going to be crystal clear: I cannot stand the lack of respect towards people of the LGBT community or towards people of this or that skin color/country of origin/religion, etc. I block hateful comments. Besides, if you notice that I forgot one, please tell me.

If someone around me makes a bad joke about those who have such sexual orientation or skin color, that’s it. I’m a great audience for jokes, but homophobic or racist jokes don’t make me laugh at all. They make me vomit. I will keep a permanent distance from someone I know if they choose the side of intolerance and disrespect. It’s a way to sort through my people. I think we all belong to the human family, period.