How to deal with #loneliness not be afraid of it and maybe even be #grateful for it #interview

In today’s live with Randa from the French youtube channel L’audace d’être soi, we talked about loneliness and the measures that can be taken to handle it, not be afraid of it and maybe even appreciate it!

1. How fear of loneliness sometimes prevent us from getting out of a toxic relationship

We mentioned that fear of loneliness is sometimes very primal: see the book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari.

Do not feel guilty to be afraid of loneliness my friend my sister and maybe you will identify in it a fear of the unknown.

Lastly, let’s keep in mind the addictive effect of a toxic relationship, especially if there is intermittent reinforcement (the cycle of abuse).

2. Practical tips to honor our loneliness

The secret is to give to ourselves what we would like someone else to give to us.

See my video I took the #decision to #fallinlove with myself about this topic.

3. Making peace with loneliness and teaching it to our kids

The book On Love and Loneliness by Jiddu Krishnamurti teaches us the benefits of getting to know ourselves in solitude while French book Les Âmes blessées by Boris Cyrulnik reminds us that art is a powerful transformation tool that can make us feel empowered again, author of our own life. Boris Cyrulnik has a great book in English language Resilience: How Your Inner Strength Can Set You Free from the Past.

Napoleon Hill’s book Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude is another way to remind ourselves that everything is a matter of perspective in life my friend my sister.

4. Loneliness is not a goal in itself

What if instead of experiencing loneliness as something happening to us, we were choosing to surround ourselves with right-minded people for instance by taking drawing or dance classes?

We ended the live stream by this beautiful quote from French author Jacques Salomé “Becoming one’s best friend“. He has written notably If Only I’d Listen to Myself: Resolving the Conflicts That Sabotage Our Lives.

Please pay a visit to Randa’s youtube channel if you understand French, today’s interview is called En direct avec Randa de L’audace d’être soi : comment apprivoiser sa #solitude ? and please support this channel and blog.

Your generosity matters and helps me to continue interviewing beautiful people and making English videos to give you the juice of the interview when they are in French!

Blessings,

Claire

Live with Kay Ess from Raw Food Lisbon about the #history of #raw #food

Live with Kay Ess from Raw Food Lisbon about the #history of #raw #food
Live with Kay Ess from Raw Food Lisbon about the #history of #raw #food

Kay Ess from Raw Food Lisbon has written two articles on the French magazine Le Chou Brave about the history of raw food.

Today we covered how the knowledge of the importance of living food is not new at all and can be traced back to the 18th century in Europe, the synergy between raw food, fresh air, positive mindset and regular movement as the best preventive care for our body and the amazing raw recipes which marry creation and self-care!

We also mentioned the book Conscious Eating by Gabriel Cousens M.D., the raw chef Kate Magic and the bubbling Fully Raw Kristina.

Thank you Kay and please support her by visiting her website Raw Food Lisbon as she offers great resources and raw food workshops in English, French and Portuguese.

At the end of her second article, Kay reproduced a fantastic quote I really love:

With true health knowledge, there comes about a freedom – and that is what life is about – physical, mental and economical freedom to become that which you are

from the book The Foundation of all Reforms, Otto Carqué, 1904

Live with Kay Ess from Raw Food Lisbon #rawfood and #joyful living

I had the immense pleasure to interview Kay Ess from Raw Food Lisbon (on Instagram @rawfoodlisbon) today!

We talked about raw food and Kay shared great books such as:

Kay also mentioned the morning ritual called The Five Tibetans. You can find numerous free videos on the internet about it and also books such as The Five Tibetans: Five Dynamic Exercises for Health, Energy, and Personal Power.

I highly encourage you to have a look at Kay’ website and support her work! This is her website Raw Food Lisbon and her Instagram.

Blessings my friend my sister,

Claire

Live with Randa from L'audace d'être soi or #daring to be #yourself

Live with Randa from L'audace d'être soi or #daring to be #yourself

Randa’s youtube channel is L’audace d’être soi (in French) and this is her facebook page.

In this live my friend my sister, Randa and I talked about the following subjects:

1. What is codependency and why is it important to put words on our pain?

Far from cultivating resentment, the approach here is to get informed to identify narcissistic behaviors and manipulation in order to protect ourselves.

Randa mentioned several great books and research on narcissistic abuse and she knows what she is talking about because she experienced a toxic relationship in her life.

To understand what codependency is, Randa warmly recommends the book by Lisa A. Romano Codependent – Now What? Its Not You – Its Your Programming.

I also got trapped into a toxic relationship my friend my sister, as mentioned notably in the video “I chose to live with a psychopath by ignoring the red flags #phenix“.

It is crucial to understand that codependency leads us to make irrational decisions my friend my sister, because as empaths we are driven by the desire to please others and save them, even to our detriment.

Moreover, gaslighting is a manipulation of reality which can make us almost hypnotized, exhausted and unable to have any discernment, because we already have a poor self image.

Randa mentioned the book by Ramani S. Durvasula “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility and the one by Ross Rosenberg The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap.

Once we have understood how a toxic relationship works, once we have become aware that we were not responsible for the emotional abuse we may have suffered during childhood when we were totally vulnerable and dependent, then we can take our power and personal responsibility back in order to live our adult life more peacefully.

2. What is your parents’ role (with respect and understanding)?

Sometimes we get a very idealized version of our parents. This prevents us from connecting back to what really happened. Some of us experienced emotional blackmail, borderline personalities, suicide threats, the fear of loosing our parents love with no reason.

When I choose to be clear on the fact that I did not get the love I desired so badly to receive from my parents just because I was alive, then I can move forward.

I choose to grieve the mother I will never have and I can cry on the family I wanted to get.

I choose to grieve and to understand that I am enough just the way I am. On that note, Randa mentioned the book Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Doctor Karyl McBride.

I choose to grieve while not taking things personally, as taught by Don Miguel Ruiz in this great book The four agreements.

Moreover, Randa talked about the author Susan Forward, who has written Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (I did the review of that book here: “#Book review Toxic Parents by Susan Forward“) and Mothers Who Can’t Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters.

You will get lots of information also thanks to neuropsychiatrist and psychoanalyst Boris Cyrulnik, notably about toxic shame and how to overcome recurring flashbacks. Boris Cyrulnik has written Resilience: How Your Inner Strength Can Set You Free from the Past.

What remains at the end of this process is compassion for the suffering of our parents who really did the best they could.

3. How to rebuild our life after a toxic relationship and what does it mean to dare to be ourselves?

Randa explains very well how we can get free of manipulation when we get clear in our mind. Furthermore, she identifies three steps on the way towards rebuild our sense of self, the self we neglected.

The first step is about getting aware that there is an issue. Then comes grief. Lastly, the last step is alchemy or turning what happened to us into something positive.

Randa also underlines the importance of addressing chronic stress thanks to mind-body therapy and grounding, for instance walking barefood in nature.

Indeed, what happened to us is stored inside our body, even when we cannot see it anymore. On that topic, a must-read book is The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk.

Randa also mentioned yoga and recommended that you choose a certified teacher carefully, for instance using the website about Iyengar yoga in the US.

Lastly, it is possible to learn to remother ourselves and comfort our inner child. Joanna Smith has written a brilliant book on the topic called A la rencontre de son bébé intérieur (in French).

Thank you for supporting Randa and I my friend my sister,

Lots of love,

Claire