I love you because you are smart and make me feel safe.
I don’t need you to be or do anything. I don’t even need you to love me back.
I am responsible for my happiness. If the situation does not suit me, I am going to leave.
Love is absolute respect for the other person. It is not about taking from but honoring a man and the whole person he is, never taking him for granted, never saying I need you.
Do you know the great writer and relationship counselor Jacques Salomé? I love his work:
I don’t know his face yet but I can already feel the feeling of being held into his arms, safe and loved. I can feel the warmth, the tenderness and the protection.
I am grateful for the man who is going to share my life in the future. And that makes me happy.
Because healthy sexuality is both sacred to me and as important as quality food, I choose today to tackle the issue of maintaining physical passion while respecting our partner’s private space. Sex is absolutely sacred (more on that in a future video) and one of the most beautiful things in life.
I do believe in the absolute respect of the man I love. Of course it is possible to live under the same roof and keep a personal space, sometimes a room.
I like to link this to the mystery which should always remain in a long-term relationship. In that endeavor, I am supported by:
I always thought I could not have a relationship with a man unless he read my book first (The Knot in the Spiral).
In my book, I confess experiences that are not very flattering, even shameful.
Nonetheless, I am so glad I shared my story in a book because it prevents me from even trying to seduce a man by pretending to be someone else out of fear of not being good enough.
Today my dream is to live with a man without the fear of being judged. This is my definition of safety.
A relationship ended a few years ago. It was normal, non-toxic, non-abusive. We kept in touch and I learned last month he was getting married so I was very happy for him. For more about separating with respect, see the review of the book Conscious uncoupling.
I had this photo which was high quality and quite nice. However I decided not to keep the actual object which was a reminder of the past. I wanted to be clear and intentional. I wanted to send a message to the universe that I was free. I wanted to send a message to whomever I would meet that I was going to be the most respectful and honest woman ever.
Sometimes the littlest things mean a lot because they are symbols.
Lastly, please have a look at Tosha Silver work (which inspired this video) because she is amazing.
Do you want a man who provide for you notably financially? Dare it! Say it!
Personally I love working and earning money, but I love the feeling of being safe. So I am saying it aloud to attract what I crave the most.
Some men love to take care of a woman financially and some women love to cook for the man they love for instance (like me!).
The important thing is to be honest about what we want. That way we can attract someone who is truly happy to do that for us.
A man is not a savior. Yes men are extraordinary but this is so unfair to put the responsibility of our happiness on their handsome shoulders.
One day you will meet someone Valerie I wish that for you, but you will always have challenges to overcome.
What is the absolute miracle of love? To be able to be close to another human being, not having to pretend to be someone else, not being afraid of saying the truth.
Valerie, a relationship is not an exchange. The fear of loneliness sometimes stems from the feeling that something is currently missing in our life and that only a relationship could fill that void.
According to my humble opinion, love does not mean getting something from the other person. To love does not equal giving by sacrificing oneself either of course.
What if loving someone else and wanting him or her to be happy went to the point of leaving the relationship if precisely it does not make the other person happy anymore?
Furthermore, fear of loneliness often masks fear of pain. Making peace with the possibility of suffering allows us to move forward in life, with so much more enthusiasm.
Indeed, to love is to take a risk. To consider the possibility of pain without cringing can free us from a heavy weight. My friend my sister, it also means that you will be strong enough to walk out of a relationship if the person does not share your values, even if you still love him or her.
Lastly, everything is possible dear Valerie. Identify first what you truly want. Then embody such a thing. You want a person worth of trust? Be trustworthy yourself. You want to meet a man who takes care of himself? Take good care of yourself.
Love is a matter of vibration. What you want more than anything is the dream of a great man, who will be the happiest man in the world once he meets you.
