It feels empowering to find good things in being single!
I have not been in a romantic relationship for many years.
I am now happy about it because it really help in getting to know myself.
However, I read an interesting post on Instagram recently by Teal Swan: @tealspiritualcatalyst. It was about the importance of relationships and how they are a central part of our life.
I wonder if I shall meet someone one day. I also wonder if being in a romantic relationship was also a very nice way to discover more about ourselves.
In both situations, gaining knowledge by observing how our self behaves in life is so valuable. It is a way of becoming who we can be. The best version.
Teal Swan is the author of the book The Completion Process: The Practice of Putting Yourself Back Together Again
It sounds obvious but it is worth testing life together before committing to someone.
I went to live abroad with a man who was uttering amazing promises, but with whom I had never tested life as a couple under one roof.
After two months, I was already ready to have a baby.
I left my friends, my habits, my little Parisian world to live with him far away. I do not want you to live the same.
What’s the secret to avoid falling into the trap? Observe the acts and ignore the beautiful words.
I was overjoyed when I learned from Instagram that Teal Swan was writing her new book on love addiction. She was saying that the words are actually wrong because there is no love involved in such relationships. I learned this lesson the hard way and it is my hope that you do not have to go through pain to learn it my friend. As I say in my book, love shall not hurt. Codependency is not real love. Blessings.
Teal Swan has already written so many books notably The completion process:
and Shadows before dawn:
Sometimes I wonder if I am going to stay single for the rest of my life. It makes me feel dizzy. I remember the main female character in the book The signature of all things by Elizabeth Gilbert. During the whole story, she never has any romantic relationship. She actually marry then divorced an unavailable man who does not love her. Sometimes the idea of staying single makes me laugh because I guess I will be able to eat all the garlic and onions possible!
Being in a relationship can be challenging sometimes, but it is a way of growing.
I am in recovery. I used to be such a workaholic. Today I make an effort to enjoy life, just do that, enjoy. I don’t need a man to enjoy life. I need to enjoy life now, so that when I welcome a man into my life it is even better.
Self love seems to be everywhere in the self help movement. I love how Sherry Argov puts it very simply for us: “If he can’t treat himself well, he’ll never treat you well“. I reviewed her great book here.
It rings so true to me but it is recent knowledge. I was not able to grasp this beforehand. I was desperately attracted to men with addictions. I wanted to help them so much. Thanks to Teal Swan’s teachings, I now understand that I deeply wanted to be good by sacrificing my well being, my dignity and my whole person to a man. Deep down, I needed to appear like a person of good virtue because I thought love was conditional.