To rebuild our life also means to open ourselves to others and to love.
This means not staying withdrawn and in fear.
It is choosing love as Marianne Williamson would say. If you understand French, I loved the TedX “Et si on arrêtait d’avoir peur ? | Margaux Hammann | TEDxReims“.
I left a man because I found him too withdrawn, but today it is me who seems withdrawn.
I love smart men who know what they want. So I never make the first move.
The issue is I am dreaming things or so it seems. Here I am, waiting for him to make the first move like a romantic girl in eighteenth century novels, convinced that he is aware of how much I am attracted to him, while I realize today that men I love may not notice my attraction to them.
It brings so many misunderstandings and long waiting periods (like waiting for a whole year…). I feel like there is a relationship with the man I love while he lives his life and have sex with people.
Actually I am becoming aware that loving unavailable men is so easy. It allows me to stay withdrawn and in the fear of love.
Today I decide to choose love.