Do not be fooled by the words of others. They are outside of the relationship. They cannot understand what violence is because manipulators are charming men. They have no clue. Abuse is harmful to you and to the children. Appearances are just that.
You are not a failure of you leave an abusive relationship. May we stop trying to please others, including the well-meaning advice givers who have no clue.
It is difficult to stay and it is maybe even more difficult to leave. Choosing life can taste like fear and deep anguish. I chose life, believing that the perpetrator was going to commit suicide once he’s find out, because he threatened me to. I chose life to protect my baby’s life, overwhelmed by fear and guilt. I chose life, feeling torn, feeling worthless, feeling damaged.
But you know what? In leaving hell, the downward spiral that was my life changed directions. The spiral turned towards bliss, joy and gratitude to be alive.