I want my children to avoid the poverty mindset. I want them to live in abundance. I do my best to make them understand that I cannot and do not want to buy everything they fancy. I explain to them that as a single mother, I belong to the most economically fragile people. I want them to realize how lucky they are, to have a roof over their head and something to eat every day. Traveling is very helpful to show them that some children are less fortunate than them, while others are much wealthier.
I want to place the gratitude mindset at the heart of their education. I teach them that being grateful for what we have today brings even more of what we currently have. Complaining and comparing ourselves to others does not bring any good.
On a practical level, if we are in a store when I cannot buy the thing they want, I tell them that I refuse “to protect our wealth”, not because I cannot afford it. It is only a change of vocabulary. However, I am convinced that using positive terms is very helpful.
Moreover, I want them to have a good education about financial matters. Money is not a taboo subject. Having money and being financially savvy are ways to become financially independent, and to help even more people around us. I show them the excel spreadsheet I use whenever I spend or I get money. I give ten euros to my daughter since her tenth birthday. The aim is for her to learn how to manage a budget. The goal of being a financially independent person is very important for me because it was not my case for a long time. When I was trapped into an abusive relationship, I wanted desperately to leave. However, I thought I would end up in the streets, unable to meet the needs of my baby daughter by myself. Therefore, I remained in an abusive relationship which damaged me a lot. Nevertheless, being homeless in the street with my baby was just a thought. I chose to believe such thought. Such a thought led me to despair and a lot of pain. Today, I learned my lesson. I do not believe my thoughts when they relate to lack. I focus on abundance. I focus on working as best as possible to be able to live from what I create.
There is one children book which touched my heart deeply. It is entitled “Welcome With Love” and I read it so many times when the children were smaller. The drawings are stunning. I love how the story is so authentic regarding giving birth at home. Thus, the mother goes outside for a stroll when labor begins. Then, when contractions intensify, she leans on her husband. The aunt is present in the house and reassures the big brother. She tells him than mummy is making loud noises because the baby is coming soon. She has brought nice soup for the whole family. There is a drawing of a baby boy coming out of the mother back body while she is almost standing. The father gathers wood outside, then makes a big nice fire in the living room. Eventually, they all sleep together on mattresses gathered in the main room to celebrate the new baby.
When I gave birth, I was trapped in an abusive relationship. The father of my children stated later than he only made children with me so that it would prevent me to leave him. Consequently, he was not elated when I got pregnant, totally not involved during the pregnancy and he spent the time of labor at home in front of his computer. Yet I had a fulfilling and happy birth.
Moreover, I read many books by the well-known French doctor Michel Odent. It is interesting that, over the course of his work, he changed his mind about the presence of father during the actual birth. He concluded later in his career that giving birth was a sacred time which was best enjoyed between women only. Thus, the body of the woman could keep the same appeal to her man after birth. I find it quite interesting. I am convinced that it is true, even of a subconscious level. Maybe it is better for fathers to avoid seeing their woman in pain. Loving men do everything to avoid their woman being in pain by always looking for solutions. It is only natural, then, to prevent them from being disempowered witnesses to the unavoidable labor pain.
What do you think?
I am in Djerba, Tunisia with the children and this is paradise. I love this country so much. We are staying at the Meninx Hotel.
The children did quite a lot of video games over the last week-end, because I got caught up with much work to do on the computer. However, it is my responsibility. If I want to promote reading, it is my duty to show a good example and do just that, reading. If I want to play a game with them, I can take the cards and start a game. I must organize myself to have less work to do on the computer over the week-end, because video games make the children very agitated and nervous.
The last charity I gave to is called “SOS Inceste pour revivre – Briser la loi du silence” or how to be reborn after incest. When I look at children, one word keeps coming up and it is Innocence. Incest is so traumatic that most victims stay in denial their whole adult life. However, they still suffer in silence while the pain stays in the body.
My friend, my sister, each minute of our life counts. Whatever happened in the past, we are free to life for ourselves now.
My friend, my sister, I am sharing my experience to let you know that it is possible to be happy without any TV. If you feel it is for you, not only is it doable, but your productivity and self-awareness will increase. Additionally, it is a good way to spark these creative skills in our children.